Swimming through treacle; anyone else?

[toptramp]

Just needing a little or mabe big moan today as I'm feeling a bit down.

I'm a lone parent of one georgeous 3 year old dd but I am finding it tough.

I just don't seem to be able to get much done when she is around. I am quite ambitious but I just don't see how I can advance my career with a little one at the moment.

I would like to start dating agin but I don't trust my judgement.

I just feel liek I'm swimming through treacle a lot of the time wondering if I did anything bad in my past life. I just feel quite unsuccesful really and compare myself with my ultra succesful sister who is married, child free and a doctor.

I am alos feeling guilty as I don't enjoy being a mummy as much as I thought I would and feel I would if I was in a loving relationship.

I have felt like this for the last 3 year but this year (last year!) bit the bullet and am doingmy Post grad teacher training. It is a comlpete nightmare DC wise but I ahve 18 weeks left (only 9 months!) and already I can see the benefits. Tok a LOT of guts to apply, go for interview etc but so worth it. If there is smething you want to do, go for it, there is help out there xx

thats the one. you have forgotten to mention the lead weights around your ankles too.

and don't compare yourself to your sister, there lies madness.

Yup, swimming through treacle, that's exactly it! But hopefully it will get better for you. My DS is nearly 4 now, and (barring the speight of colds over Christmas, then stupidly falling off my bike) I'm finding that I'm getting a bit more sleep, therefore feeling a bit more on-the-ball at work, so it feels like work is picking up a bit now, so I actually feel like I'm not consigned to what the Americans call "the mommy track" for ever, and may actually start making progress in my career again.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to my dsis but it is natural and so hard not to. Still feeling envious of her. When I go to work I do feel a bit less treacly!

OP you are me :)

Lone parent to 3 yr old dd and half the time feel like I've got shackles round my ankles. I think seeing as we have come this far without much help we need a big pat on the back.

When you look at everything you do on your own with your dd its no wonder you feel like this. You get her up, washed, dressed, breakfast, playing, laundry, housework, food shopping, bus trips car trips, tantrums, lunch, dinner, washing up, bath, pajamas, story, bed....

Don't compare yourself. I make this mistake too, but knowing how hard it is I admire you greatly. We all need reassurance sometimes.

Do you work ?

You mentioned career, sorry, you must work. I am the same.10 years in and I can't advance as I need a degree, but no time to scratch my own backside let alone study!

I do work. In order to advance I need to do my probational year but am much the same as dontpetthesweatythings! Thanks for your support peeps.

Its hard work being a single parent, and I get down about it at times but mostly I really enjoy it- it was afterall my choice to have a kid (although not sans partner but I can live with that fact now) so it is a question of managing expectations- it does take that much more time to get anything done, personally or career-wise, but I have so much more pride in myself when I do finally get something done, because it was so much harder to do! :)

Getting out to work really helps. I'm now lone parent to 2 dcs aged 2 and 4 and have to admit that I can't wait to hand them over in the mornings so I can 'enjoy' some adult company at work. Also I don't look forward to the weekends as I used too cos its such hard work most of the time. Like others I feel so guilty about this, wish I could enjoy it more but it seems so hard at times.

Oneof the most difficult things for me was constantly comparing my life to others and getting envious about their perfect lives. But that is crazy. I don't know anything about the reality of their lives. The best thing I think is to just get on with making your life good.

It will get better. Honest. They are 3 only once (thankfully!)

Yep. I feel this too. I have a 4 year old and a nearly 2 year old. I am constantly battling with how best to balance our lives so that everyone is happy. It is a hard battle! I am trying to get back in work, but that is difficult (not impossible though) as I have been out for 4+ years since DD1 was born. I do realise though that this would still be challenging whether my DH was still here or not. But just it might be slightly less of a challenge and I would feel that I had to bear the whole responsibility myself.

Thankfully I am about a million miles away from the dating game and the thought of having to do that again terrifies me.

Definitely do not compare yourself to anyone, let alone your ultra successful, childless sister. Your lives do not compare and you will end up driving yourself mad and feeling inadequate - when you are really not.

The life of a lone parent can be relentless. But I wouldn't change the girls for anything (love being able to get a couple of hours just for me sometimes though).

wouldn't feel that I had to...