LP with teenagers?

[woollyideas]

AAAAAAAArgh! Just aaaaaaaaargh!

I am fed up with:
(a) the constant arguing
(b) the 'Why should YOU care if I do my homework or not? I'm not going to university anyway because I can't afford it and don't want to start my life in debt...'
(c) the lack of interest in anything at all apart from her social life (either real or virtual)
(d) the utter refusal to help around the house

Just letting off steam really. I know there are no miracle cures

Withdraw all pringles. Key on food cupboard. say 'talk to the hand' and ignore her. Does she have a telly in her room? If so she is doing really well....she can go and watch the bloody thing and stop buggering up your day.

Oh and she doesnt want to go to University? This is great news. Hallelujah. In that case tell her she needs to find a job and move out to a rented flat as soon as possible.
HTH

Also she sounds wonderfully normal so you are obviously doing an excellent job.

How old us she wooly?

I have 3 teens so sympathise!

She was fifteen the day before yesterday...

Father lives in another country, so no input from him (financial or otherwise supportive...)

It just seems like hard going sometimes.

I have 1 teen, (&2 little DD's) and yep, she sounds just like DS. I hope she is cleaner :)
Total sympathy x

Yes, I have a 15 year old dd too. Hard work! And mine us supposed to be doing revision. She is in her room but I guess not much revision is actually happening. We can only nag so much I suppose.

If she won't tidy, then I generally collect up what's lying around in a bin liner. Her room, well I just close the door and leave her to it

I close the door on her bedroom, too, and do the binliner thing, but I do wish she'd do odd jobs around the house when asked. I'm only talking about taking out the recycling, for example (perish the thought she should do anything 'major' like wash up!) but she'd rather rant about not doing it for ten minutes than spend one minute doing it!

Ah well, froggies, at least her personal hygiene is okay (clutches at straws...)

I get quite frosty with mine if I ask them to do something and they drag their feet. That works for me a but as they don't like to be in the bad books ( in case they need money or something later in the day)

Mine is also meant to be doing revision. Has gone from 'gifted and talented' to a C in her first mock GCSE!

Olympia - Mine couldn't care less if she's in my bad books. A frosty stare
or curt response is like water off a duck's back.

Amazonian - i like your style, but she's still a bit too young to send off to live alone...

If I have a job I want DS to do, I give him a choice between that and a worse job, e.g.
'the dishes that are lying around the living room and your bedroom need put in the dishwasher, and the coal and logs need refilled. Which would you like to do before you play your xbox?'

as long as I make the one I want him to do more attractive, and minimise room for counter arguments, I have a pretty good success rate. If he kicks up a fuss, I reply with, "ok, no worries, I'll do the dishes, which leaves the coal and logs for you...." and start clearing up. If he still refuses, i have been known to switch the electricity off to his bedroom, so no Xbox until job is done. But then I am even more stubborn than he is :)

I have 2 teens, although my eldest will 20 in a few weeks. He is at uni but they bicker when he comes home for the holidays.

I can get very fed up with teenage antics, esp as my youngest now has a 125cc bike so isn't really at home as much as I like.

LP with teens is hard: hang on in there

sigh
Nice to know I'm not alone......just had to do the Big Voice thing with DD2 to do her turn at dog-walking. They know it's non-negociable, in the holidays. In winter term-time I do two walks a day but as soon as it's lighter during home hours they share it. Poor pooch needs her exercise & it's the only way I get them away from one square screen or another.

I have been known to totally down tools ,call them both bloody selfish & flounce out of the house like they do & go for a Very Long Walk.

Last time I did that I came back to all the washing up done, tea started & lounge tidied & wine cooling in the fridge....result!! Do try not to overuse that one though, tempting though it is.

This book helped my friends and me enormously.
Changed my mindset around and made definite changes in dcs attitude and behaviour
& Door Slammers: The Secret to Having a Better Behaved Teenager [Paperback

Me too, with two teenagers. I love the kids to bits, but I don't always like living with them lol

I read somewhere that the teenage phase helps everyone get ready for when they leave home. I understand that now lol

I prefer teenagers to the baby and toddler stage though.

I loved the toddler bit and looking back babyhood was a doddle! I love mine to bits, too, but she's still a complete nightmare sometimes. I try to remember that some of her friends are already (a) taking drugs (b) sexually active with serial 'partners' (c) heavy drinkers (d) nicotine addicts, and remind myself that she's an angel by comparison. Helps me through the shouty, sweary, disagreeable bits where she seems to enjoy provoking/baiting me...

I have just picked loads of broken glass out of the front garden where she 'missed' the recycling that she finally got around to after three days of asking. Grrr....

Another one here with a 14 year old ds....he is sooooo lazy and smelly it drives me nuts! I have to force him to shower and brush his teeth....it's disgusting! He's been like it for a few years now! He also is a really fussy eater and refuses to eat anything I cook unless it's pizza....so he quite often goes hungry as I dont cook to pander to him, but funnily enough when he goes to his mates house he will eat various foods there
As a little boy he was so kind and helpful and would always tidy away toys etc but not anymore!!!

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I have brought my daughter up alone since she was 12 with no emotional or financial support from ex (that's a different story altogether).

At 12-13 she was hard work and this lasted until about 17. At 19 she is the kindest most caring person you could ever meet and she is an absolute joy to me. I spent 6 months last year seriously ill, she visited me every visiting time in hospital, kept the house running and looked after me when I came home. I was quite depressed and she always knew what to say and when I needed hand holding or a kick up the behind.

Hang in there and learn to compromise and now sweat the small stuff, the world does not fall apart if the washing up, vaccing, etc is now done immediately. I wish I had learnt that 6 years ago.

Thrilled someone else switches off the electricity until they behave - that is my last resort response.

Sorry to pour cold water on the warm hope that when they leave the arguing lessens, eldest uni child has just phoned up to vent her spleen at me.

I think it is do with personalities. Just some teens have more of an overbearing entitled personality than their other teen siblings.

I'm a single mum to four, with three more to offload to uni or jobs but the middle two don't seem quite as "challenging" as the first one or I suspect the 4th one will be!