Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

to think this guy is a dick??

22 replies

queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 00:36

cut a long story short we been goin out near onfive months....two weeks ago he got a flat in my town to apparently be near to me...since then he blowing cold on me...hardly seeing him...he says he got things goin on in his head i and i am prepared to listen..he spent christmas wiv his family fair enough and christmas eve fair enough tomo is new year he knows i have no mney or bbysitter and earlier in the week said he wants to spend it with me.. i am upset and tonight i have vented my upsetness to him and explained whilst being understanding i feel hurt upset and neglected and am wandering why he movedcloser to me if we going to see eachother less. He has decided to leave me alone new year.. i am upset that he doesnt want to include me he says he doesnt want to break up and isnt seeing anyone else but i upset as surely if he cared about how i feeling ie upset.. he would care not storm off. this guy has been amazing to me but since he moved near i am seeing a complete different side to him...part of me is thinking sod him...part of me intregued to find out real reasons behind this and what his motives were for moving here if he going to do this. please help am upset what would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 00:39

just to reiterate it him that done all chasing up to now i just dont understand it am so confused...

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 31/12/2011 00:41

When you have asked him about his change in behaviour what has he said? Has something happened with his family?

Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 00:44

he says he got a lot going on in his head.....his son at boarding school. his sons mum walked out on him and his mum and dad look after him...he feels bad for how he left him.. i understand all this but he being real different he has turned since he moved here. not hardly coming over. maybe i should just leave him be.. got enough issues of my own

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 31/12/2011 00:49

If you've got enough issues of your own I would be wary of taking on more. Maybe he is a dick, maybe he isn't, but it doesn't sound like he is the man you need in your life ATM.

HollyPricklesMyFanjo · 31/12/2011 00:52

Totally agree with Dione. You can't take on all his issues at this early stage of a relationship..even without taking yours into consideration. Five months seems long but if you both have a bit of baggage it's not long at all. Take it really slow, put it on a backburner and concentrate on you. Sounds like you need some time to figure out what YOU really want.

Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 00:53

thanks dione... am just intregued now really to find out why he moved here to become an arse. sorry. think your right though.. he been so lovely though it such a shame...wish i knew what up with him.. all i want is the truth..

OP posts:
Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 00:55

thanks prickles...think you right.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 31/12/2011 01:00

I would be wondering why he didn't step up to the mark when ds's mum walked out, and why his parents were raising the child rather than him. Yeah, he's a dick, never mind being intrigued by his motivations.

thefroggy · 31/12/2011 01:02

I hate to say this but it doesn't sound good queen. Five months isn't long at all but I find it odd that he doesn't want to see you over christmas/new year.

My ex had two partners..I obviously didn't know at the time. He (as it turned out) arranged to see us both on valentines day, and engineered rows with us both so one would tell him to eff himself or he would have an excuse to opt out...

Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 01:06

oh and he has started drinking quite a lot recently and hasnt a job...he burnt his hand when pissed then took painkillers with alcohol.. (not while he with me and mine i might add) what am i on about. i know he wrong for me. Hes just so vlever he has wood me with i love yous and gifts treats taken me out made me eel special.. guess this all to disguise the truth..i am the one who a dick i think i need to see sense.

OP posts:
Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 01:08

i have thought bout the two partner stuff and asked him and he denied it and if he did have two partners why he continue chasing me all time. i have infact tried to end it twice before with him and he begged and came knoking on my door and well i dont know just why??would he bother if there two of usx:-(

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 31/12/2011 01:13

Because some men need to feel they're in control, and wooing you with "I love you" is a cheap way to have you right there.

thefroggy · 31/12/2011 01:14

You're not a dick at all queen. Even someone as old, bitter and cynical as me can melt at a romantic gesture.

Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 01:18

i tried to stay strong but after near on 5 months of without fail every morning messages good mornig babexxx and months of i am falling for you. near on ten or more txts a day being wined and dined taken for wkend away.. coming to see me 3 times a week at least and then he moves here an now this blowing cold not coming over...its just odd

OP posts:
thefroggy · 31/12/2011 01:20

Queen, who knows about cheating? My ex chased me when I told him I wasn't interested. He turned up at my work, my home, texted me all the time...he was cheating, I was his OW and I had no idea.

It doesn't make sense, but...i've known him over ten years and I know he loves women to fight over him. Narcissistic (sp?!) bastard is the conclusion I came to.

Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 01:20

weekends away flowerschocolates i love yous great sex. i fell for it and now this bang... i dont understand its like he has made me fall in love with him and now thinks he can be a dick .sorry guys for the rant but its messing with my head

OP posts:
Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 01:24

ahh well i wasting precious sleep time worrying bout him now.. thanks for advice ladies i am off to bed. nite nite

OP posts:
thefroggy · 31/12/2011 01:26

Dont apologise for ranting, you have every right to. Smile

You dont know what's going on, i'd be exactly the same.

Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 31/12/2011 01:28

yeah frog i just want to know truth like if he is cheating then i could put it to bed and know i am right. Its all so strange. x

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 31/12/2011 01:38

It's been said before, it'll be said again... Read this book and identify him. He's not good for you.

thefroggy · 31/12/2011 01:42

I think sometimes we underestimate gut feeling. I tried to ignore it but it turned out I was right, things just didn't add up.

Original poster
queenofthedancefloor · 02/01/2012 00:46

today he has announced to me that he has a drink problem. obviously i am going to have to let him go...I am just so sad though....sad because i dont understand why he has made me fall in love with him and not let me go when i tried to finish it before and now he has moved close to me and obviously he has a problem...now he is saying how sorry he is for putting me through this.I have had suspicions but obviously i have brushed over them because of the way he has treated me and made me fall in love with him. He says he sorry.. he says he doesnt want to drag me down with him. he is such a lovely person that it is so hard. but obviously i am going to have to try and be strong and not be with him. such a blow to the new year though.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page