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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Newly Lone Parent with a 7 Month Baby Girl

18 replies

Leilababyno1 · 28/12/2011 10:51

Hi,

It seems very strange, as it feels like only yesterday when I was posting in the pregnancy section of these talk boards, feeling very excited about the future and very much in love with my husband. Unfortunately, I now find myself alone with our 7 month old daughter and facing the future as a single mum.

I live in a nice area of South West London and don't know anyone in my predicament. All my friends with babies are in stable, loving relationships which only heightens my feelings of lonliness and isolation. It would be so nice to find someone in/or who has been in a similar situation to myself.

If any of you are out there, please send me a message.. It would be a comfort to know that I am not alone. If you live in London and would be happy to meet for a coffee even better. Thank You

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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SuePurblybiltbyElves · 28/12/2011 10:55

I'm miles away but look on the local boards here for a meet. Or use the meet a mum section of NM avoiding the rest.

I was a LP with a 10mo, she's five now. It's hard at times but I wouldn't change it. You'll be grand

Original poster

Leilababyno1 · 28/12/2011 11:09

Thank you, your message brought a tear to my eye. It is so very hard right now. I have posted in my local thread too. Thank's

OP posts:

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 28/12/2011 11:13

Oh bless you, you must be low if I can make you cry without even trying .
It is hard, no getting away from that. But it can also be bloody brilliant and it's the start of a new life for both of you, that must be good .

DinkyRowan · 30/12/2011 18:47

You are such an inspiration! I'm in a unhappy relationship (with a 7 month old baby girl) and I've been umming and ahhing about what to do. I keep delaying the inevitable, saying to myself 'I'll wait until his mother is better', 'I'll wait until after Christmas/NewYear' but I don't know how much longer I can delay it. I'm scared about how I'll cope practically and financially on my own, but can't bear the thought of my daughter settling for a life that doesn't make her happy, as I have. Argh!!!

girliefriend · 30/12/2011 22:20

You are not on your own, I am a single parent to a little girl and although its hard at times overall I think its brilliant. I get loads of quality time with my dd, I get to make all the decisions and get to feel all the pride when she achieves something.

Be strong, this is not the worse thing that could happen to you, embrace you independence and enjoy your baby daughter

Loobyloo1902 · 31/12/2011 19:37

Hi sweetie, have you checked to see if there's a Gingerbread group near you? www.gingerbread.org.uk/groupmaps.aspx
Hope there is but if not, set one up? x

Nver · 31/12/2011 20:41

Feel for you. Your doing the right thing though - on here for support and a chat and hopefully someone will take you up on your offer of coffee soon. ( sorry i'm miles away from you) You probably feel worst cos it's new year eve. Just you be the bestest mum you can be and keep your chin up!!!

Milkybrew · 31/12/2011 21:01

Hi Leila, I clicked on this thread as I also have a 7 mo DD, though am not a lone parent. Maybe you remember back we were on a thread together when we had gone overdue with our daughters! I remember it being a great support in those final days so couldn't not lend you some cyber support now. I'm afraid I live to far away to meet up for a coffee but my only advice is to try to get out and meet new people as much as possible. Once you scratch the surface there are so many things to do, library story times, baby gym etc and you and your little DD can build happy memories together!

thepeoplesprincess · 31/12/2011 21:32

Try to go to as many toddler/baby groups as you can and hopefully you'll be able to expand your current social to include some families in similar circumstances, which might help ease your loneliness a bit.

Best wishes xx

GalaxyAddict · 31/12/2011 21:45

I am a lone parent with a just 1 year old DD. I split with my partner when my baby was 4 days old. I live in Oxford, so not that far away.

2012 will be a better year!

starshaker · 31/12/2011 21:51

Im a lone parent to twins age 17 months and a 6yo dd. It is lonely and it really sucks but i adore my 3 babies and wouldnt change anything. Im in the north of scotland so a bit far away for a coffee otherwise id jump at the chance to meet.

froggies · 31/12/2011 21:55

Oh! Star shaker, how far north? I too am up here....

starshaker · 31/12/2011 22:07

Im about 30 miles north of aberdeen, where are you?

froggies · 01/01/2012 01:16

:( about 70 miles north of Inverness. Hours away!

starshaker · 01/01/2012 02:17

bloody hell that is north lol

missduff · 01/01/2012 09:46

I've been in your situation over 2 years ago now, at times it was hard but if I'm honest it's probably not going to be as bad as you may anticipate.
I had very low self esteem for a long time, felt guilty, like I'd let my DS down but now we're both totally happy, DS sees his dad every week, I'm now in a new relationship which is so much better for me and DS than it could have ever been with his dad, but please don't think u need to go out and find a man, u don't need one x

The thing which helped me turn a corner was meeting other mums in a similar situation to me, seeing that they are amazing mums and really decent people so therefore maybe I'm not that bad after all.
I met up with Mum's in my area through singlewithkids.co.uk its a national group and members often arrange days out, weekends away etc or if u just wanna meet someone for coffee u can do. They also do holidays, we went on a glamping trip last may which they do every year, it was truly fantastic.

Being a single parent can be lonely but please don't think that you're the only one, u just gotta get out there n find the others. Also I've found that now DS is a toddler there are now quite a few lone parents, in a few years your friends will be turning to you for support, so you're not the only one, just the first one xx

ScaryFairy28 · 01/01/2012 23:06

I'm in the same situation on my own with dd 7 months, in central scotland and feeling very lonely just now feel free to pm me if you want a chat

Original poster

Leilababyno1 · 01/01/2012 23:08

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words of support. You are all truly wonderful.

Yes, there does seem to be a Gingerbread Friendship group only a couple of miles away. I sent the organiser a message and she told me that they still meet up for play days etc.. I think all of the parents tend to have children rather than babies, but I am sure I will still be welcomed. Once I am feeling a little stronger I will attend one of the meet ups. I have been seeing a counciler once a week, just to help me try and come to terms with the loss, which is definitely a help. I did pluck up the courage to meet with a couple of my NCT friends the other day, and they were surprising extremely supportive and caring.

It has been almost 6 weeks since my EXH left, I have ok days and horrendous days, but I know that unfortunately that is how it is gonna be for a while. I just have to sit this painful part out! Time will be my saviour, though I wish I could speed it up.

I am going to mention my new lone parent status to my local health visitor at my DDs monthly baby clinic this week. I am hoping that she might be able to put me in contact with another single mum in my borough.

Thank's once again to all of you for your words of support.

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