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Lone parents

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Original poster

Do your dp's parents have a problem with you being a lp?

10 replies

toptramp · 26/12/2011 21:51

Or are they very accepting? I am venturing onto the dating scene in the new year but I am scared of all these awful il stories. Do you find that they are less accepting because you already have kids? Any positive stories most welcome but I accept they might be hard to come by!

OP posts:
piellabakewell · 27/12/2011 08:16

I haven't met his parents yet, although he has met mine...we've been together just over a year. He has a child from a previous relationship so I don't think there would be any point in his parents judging me. Perhaps it depends on your age...we are both in our forties and most people our age have relationship history Xmas Smile.

Purpleroses · 27/12/2011 09:13

My DP's parents don't seem to have a problem with it - but he has DCs too, so how I relate to them is probably more important to his parents. My own parents have sort of queried how they relate to DP's DCs - too old and too late in life to feel they are any kind of grandchildren, but certainly no ill feeling towards them.

Before I met DP had several short term relationships. The BFs were all fine with me having DCs. Only met one BF's father who also seemed fine about it. I think it probably does depend what age your new BF is, and whether he or his parents are hoping he'll find someone to have DCs with himself. Most parents would probably prefer their 20 somthing son to meet someone without DCs, but once they get used to the idea should be OK I'd have thought.

angrywoman · 27/12/2011 11:36

My DP has no children. I have three. His mum and sister are abroad (where he's from) so I had not 'met' them until we skyped recently.
His Mum has been in the same situation herself so would not really be in a position to voice disapproval if she felt it.

lubeybaublely · 27/12/2011 11:42

I met my exdh when I was 18 and had a 2yr old. He was 31. His posh parents were very accepting and lovely from day one and still have contact with my teen DD now even though my relationship with their son is ancient history

It's a bit like everything really - some people are twats, but most aren't!

michglas · 27/12/2011 11:54

I got together with DH when I was 22 and DD1 was 2. I had just escaped a very violent relationship with DD1's father and he was still terrorising me. His parents tried to dissuade him from getting involved with someone who had so much baggage but thankfully he ignored them. His mum is a two-faced back-stabbing cow, so I never really know how to take her or know whether she actually likes me - I don't really care either. His dad is lovely and we get on great.

stoptillyoudrop · 27/12/2011 20:26

DP's parents have been lovely to me and have never showed any signs of being judgy. I met them last year when we got engaged and we've gone out to a few dinners and shows and they've bought DS some nice gifts (they live abroad so we don't see them frequently). They are very accepting of my circumstances, even though DP is a well-qualified professional with no DC of his own and I am an unemployed LP in a council flat. DP is 35 and I am 33, so he could easily find someone with less history, but I am the woman who makes him happiest and they can recognise that.

missdt89 · 29/12/2011 00:44

Im 22 nearly 23 in a few days! i met my dp shortly after moved back to the area i grew up in, after i split with my violent ex. He is my age and our familys do know eachother quite well, we have been together nearly a year and a half (not uite ready to live together, i want to be back at work before this happens so i can still support myself and dd if the worst happened-more so because of what ex did to me) but see each other everyday, he is brill with my 2 year old and his parents are great with her. i think it all depends on the sort of people they are, i like to think most people are accepting x

SageMistAndSnowflakes · 29/12/2011 08:27

My DS's GF has a child and I had no problem with this. Just very glad that DS found someone nice after previously awful relationships.

My Parents however have found it really difficult and though they are polite to DS's GF to her face, but regularly talk about her 'baggage' to me (they mean 'emotional baggage' not anything more derogatory BTW). I do have to point out to them that I had 'baggage' too when I met my current DH, so I'm not sure why they have such a problem.

Still, GF's child is lovely and making it much easier for my parents to accept him and his mum.

Original poster
toptramp · 29/12/2011 10:13

So happy and relieved to hhear so many positive stories. I sometimes feel like damaged goods but I know that is MY issue rather than anyone elses.

OP posts:
missdt89 · 30/12/2011 23:43

it is hard hun but ur not damaged goods! however i do know this feeling , what some people need to realise we are not single mums coz we wanted to be, most of us have a story and not nice ones at that!! but im happy at the mo, just wanna find some work then i can think yes ive done it! x

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