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Need to stay strong...do I?

3 replies

balia · 24/12/2011 16:52

My DD (17) has had no contact with her Dad since a very difficult and violent incident a couple of months ago. (Not a one-off, but something that had been building up for a long time - he is an alcoholic, chronic liar, you know the kind of guy. His wife left him just after - not because of this incident but certainly it was part of it and because of that kind of behaviour. DD has stayed in touch with her stepmum.) He has continued to text and call leaving messages for her, (usual mix of threats, drunken rants, monologues about how much he loves her etc) but she has not responded.

Met up with my neice yesterday (well, my ex's neice) and she chatted a bit about Christmases of her childhood and how much she loved them when she was with the ex and me (her mum, ex's sister is disabled so we had DN a lot holidays/weekends etc) and what with that and all the soppy films on I'm having a kind of - well, a card wouldn't do any harm, maybe I'll suggest she rings him on the day...type thing.

I haven't encouraged her not to call, you understand, but I have supported her in her choice...please tell me I'm right not to undermine her just because it is Christmas and I'm feeling a bit nostalgic?

OP posts:
UnlikelyAmazonian · 24/12/2011 17:00

Youi are right. Don't go there. He sounds hellish. Gritted teeth all round.

FalsaMagra · 24/12/2011 18:23

Let sleeping dogs lie. She will contact him when he is ready, if she is at some point.

balia · 24/12/2011 18:31

Thank you - resolve strengthened. I think it is the weirdness of having her in the house Christmas Eve, as she has always been at his...but as I don't have to go out in the cold to drive her home I might just have a little drop of wine to celebrate. Cheers everyone!

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