Never have I been so sure

[froggies]

...that not being with my ex is the right thing.

We were together for 12 years, he was my son's dad since he was 2, (now 15) we also have 2 daughters (3&6), we split up at the end if January last year so this I'd the first Christmas apart. In the first week he turned DS away at his door while inviting DD's in to play with all of the new toys he had bought them. I knew then that the split was right, but at least that snub was not public. He has not spent any time at all with DS other than to be rude to him.

He has just posted on fb a merry Christmas etc to himself and his daughters... Nice for DD's, but oh so public an in your face to DS.

How could anyone do that to a child that you have lived with and said you loved for 12 years? I so hope that he doesn't do the same to DD's when they are no longer small and cute and have to 'do as they are told'. I don't want to see my little girls go through the heartbreak that DS has had.

Just wanted to get this out so it doesn't make me feel crappy over Christmas. DD's are going to his this evening until tomorrow night, and DS and I will miss them loads but having 2 Christmas days is going to be fun.

I split with my ex at the same time as you, and like you, I am so sure we are better off now. I don't have the same issues as you, but I feel the same sense of rightness. Your poor DS, what a shit person your ex is, and I hope he doesn't turn his back on your DD's when they are older. Some men are utter shits.

froggies that's really appalling. I feel for you and your lovely DS. What an utter shit of a man. He sounds a total child. Be glad he is gone. Where is Ds's 'real' dad? I guess not in contact. My Ds is 4 and his dad's not around at all. We are doing a great job. Just keep showing massif lovin towards your ds. As I am sure you are

What childish, brattish and hurtful behaviour!
And in a way, what vindication to prove you have done the right thing in splitting up with him.
Who wants to be with a man that uses his children as a weapon, and spends his time making public passive aggressive statements designed to hurt a child?

I hope you and your children have a lovely Christmas; it will be all the better for the lack of that moron!

Sounds like good riddance to bad rubbish!
Feel bad for your DS though. Are you two doing something special for just the two fo you tonight?

Omg.
I think he has had a girlfriend for a wee while, if he has, he hasn't introduced her to DD's .... Until tonight.
I am really really hoping I am wrong, and it is just a friend visiting. But if I am not, is it unreasonable to think introducing a new gf to DD's on christmas eve is a bit inappropriate? Especially as it is the first one ( gf and christmas) since we split?
Guess I will find out when they come home tomorrow night. I don't care if he has a gf, and I am totally ok with him introducing her at some point and don't expect him to tell me when or who or even allow me to meet her, but... On Christmas eve? When they are spending their first ever Christmas away from home with their dad? Really?

On a happier note, DS and i are watching Merlin, playing RISK, drinking coke (with rum for me).... Real fire going, tree lights on, blowing a hooley outside, loads of home made munchies to scoff :-) and there is bound to be a lie in tomorrow coz he is a teenager :-)

Sounds like you're having a fab night with your DS. Merry Christmas!

(Personally I would expect to be told if the ex was introducing your DDs to a new girlfriend, not to stop it, but so you can all manage the situation accordingly).

To clarify, I don't expect him to tell me. Any normal ex, considering his DD's emotional well being... I would expect to say something first, because really, it is the right thing to do. But he doesn't have that degree of emotional intelligence.
Nothing I can do about it, and I might be wrong....

Sorry, unlikelyAmazonian, DS's real dad has been very much on the side lines, he saw him fairly regularly when DS was a baby, but then I moved 50 miles away for college and he stopped seeing him. He always sends bd and Christmas presents, never pays maintenance, and never interferes, thankfully. We see DS's grandparents every couple of months and DS has them and his dad as Facebook friends, I strongly suspect we wouldn't hear from him at all if it wasn't for his mum being on his back.
He beat me a RISK and has buggered off to play xbox now...