please help, re contact centres as i don't want to see my ex

[tasha78]

hello
was wanting some advice, does anyone use contact centres so there ex's can still see there children. I'm setting up this for my ex and my one year old daughter as i really don't feel that i can see him anymore. He left me 6 weeks ago to be with his ex and over the past few weeks he has been turning up at our home supposedly to see our daughter but he then messes with my emotions and we end up in bed together. I have spoken to my solicitor about this as i do not feel emotionally strong enough to see him and we have agreed on a contact centre, my ex says there not very nice places and our daughter will become upset. just wanting to know other peoples feelings about them. I really can't see my ex and i have no one eles who will take her to meet him
xxx

tasha - I'm sorry you're going through this but there are probably better ways to deal with this than a contact centre.

If he has somewhere else to take your daughter, then just make sure you have all her stuff ready for when he turns up and hand her over at the door. Do not let him into your house. Just say 'Hello' and 'Goodbye' - that's all you need to say.

Your daughter is only 1, you've got many years of this ahead of you. You have to be strong for your daughter's sake. You feelings will calm down over time, although it may seem hard to believe now.

The people I know who have used a contact centre have done so because of fears about violence - not because their ex's are irresistible and they can't stop themselves shagging him!

Sounds like you need to get some clarity - is it over?

Like anything else, some contact centres are better than others - could you use it as a handover point rather than as a place for supervised access? Or just make handovers in a public place - that would strengthen my knicker elastic!

Contact centres are for short term use in most cases. Long waiting lists and in some cases, you have to pay. They are essentially for families with welfare concerns. How would you get a referral?

I think you would be better to look into third party handovers

Balia

thanks everyone.