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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

I can honestly say...

8 replies

HollyBollyBooBoo · 18/12/2011 19:50

...if someone told me I don't have to wake up tomorrow I would breath a sigh of relief. It's just all too much. H had an affair and moved abroad earlier this year leaving me to parent a now 17mo DD. On top of work and running the house I have literally nothing left to give to the World, I am exhausted and just want to stop.

Just needed to write that down really.

OP posts:
PoppadumPreach · 18/12/2011 19:59

i am really sorry to hear that.

i cannot imagine how hard it must be as a single parent. i find it exhausting enough with a supportive husband.

you are having to cope with the loss of your husband and bringing up a child - either of these on their own is a difficult challenge.

do you have family/friends nearby?

things will get better. and though time probably seems to pass slowly, one day you will wonder where the time went.

keep talking here - there will be people who can offer more constructive advice for than me.

it feels hard because it is hard, but you will be doing an amazing job.

i hope things get better soon

Jemma1111 · 18/12/2011 20:00

Holly

I know exactly how you feel because I've been there. My xp left me with a newborn and a toddler and at the time I was in utter despair, however fast forward a few years, I now love my life and am proud of the way I have bought my children up on my own.

Please talk to your family/friends or even your Doctor to get yourself some support.
Honestly Holly, you probably cant see it now as your'e newly on your own having to cope, I PROMISE one day you will feel happy again !!

froggies · 18/12/2011 20:25

Holly, it does get easier.
My ex left just less than a year ago. After the initial sigh of relief that it was finally at an end I looked at what I was left with and felt totally daunted....
Unfinished renovation project; 2 DD's (2&5) kind of confused and upset; DS (15) feeling rejected and full of anger and teenage angst. I worked less than 16 hours a week as a childminder, and as I live very rurally I am the only childminder which scuppered my options of going back to work full time.

All of my family live hundreds of miles away and after the first few weeks felt uneasy leaning all but a couple of long standing friends, so I spoke to my health visitor, who was absolutely wonderful.

She put us in touch with women's aid, and now me, DS and DD1 have regular support from them. Ds also sees another youth worker, and although it hasn't been easy, we are getting there.

I started another part time business from home to boost my earnings and hours to qualify for WTC, I have started a part time college course, and have moved the renovation forward enough to meet the councils approval for completion.

There are still times when I look at things and wonder how the hell I am going to manage, times when ExP makes things hard, and I want to just sit and cry, but those times are getting fewer.

As your DC gets older, you will reap the rewards of all of your hard work (although you might want to write that down somewhere during the teenage years to remind you) and it will all be worth it. Stay strong xx

fallenpetal · 18/12/2011 22:37

Cry, sob and shout, get it out of your system - utter git :( Im so sorry for you what a situation. The others are right though. Once you process it, deal with the day to day things it does eventually get easier. Id never have believed that years ago but it is so true.
We manage, I dont know how but we do - the single parent is the hardest job but seriously the best when you find your equilibrium

Huge hugs xx dont dispair xx

MissMogwi · 18/12/2011 23:21

It will get easier. Many of us have been where you are and have come through it. It takes a long time to get over betrayal and hurt, but you will. Take each day as it comes, you are doing much better than you think you are. One day this will seem like a distant memory.

Have you family and friends for support?

Come back on here and talk, it will help. Get out in the fresh air with your DD, maybe see what's on for Christmas at your church (even if just to get you out-I've done it).

Take care.

belleshell · 22/12/2011 04:25

Big Hugs. I dont think exhaustion helps, ive been there done that and still feel low at times, i also suffer from ME and the exhaustion stops me in my tracks. As well as all the other fantastic advice,stop the bus and get off just for a short break..Christmas is coming if you struggle with someone to have your DD for a whole day at this time of year, do a snuggly day.......which bascially means do nothing, stop in pjs all day, eat crap watch telly snuggle DD sleep when she does, and forget about the world for a day. the other thing i found helpful when ex left was to write it all down, no structure, just ask my self how did i really feel........... at times it didnt make sense, etc, but i have saved those letters witht the dates and from time to time read them.....12 months on i can now see that the world is a better place, and me and 2 kids are far happier...

take care of you.....x

HollyBollyBooBoo · 22/12/2011 16:46

Thanks everyone, you are all so lovely and some great advice.

Now broken up from work until 3rd Jan so looking forward to just relaxing a bit. Mum had DD one night this week and I slept solidly for 10 hours, that definitely helped!

Have a great Christmas all xxx

OP posts:
AmIthatbad · 22/12/2011 20:21

I have nothing to add to what others have said other than that you are not alone, and I hope you enjoy your Christmas xx

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