So, Nana gave DS1 an early Xmas pressie. A hamster. This is fine as I like animals but DS (who is 10) then gave me hourly accounts of the hamsters every moves throughout the night what with them being nocturnal. I was so cross about this as when will he realise it is not OK to wake me up in the night unless he is ill or the house is burning down? Then my DD who is 7 had a major dose of the green eyed monster (the hamster is so much cuter than her gerbils apparantly...). I spent the day counselling my daughter (bless her), the 10 year old was being a cock sure little shite all day and all of them kicked off about walking the dog (going to the park) and getting a few bits at the shops. By teatime I was very prickly and the youngest then started playing up, I said to him "be a good boy because Father Xmas is coming next week" or words to that effect and DS1 said "he's not real", despite frosty glares, despite me telling him that he doesn't exist when he asked but not to say anything as he had only just realised and it would be nice not to tell the other two as they were younger which he agreed to. I lost it and basically flung him in his room, screeched my head off, swore and, i'm ashamed to say, smacked him.
It has been an awful day. I have smacked him before but it is not something I do as a punishment in this house, however I have done it when i've lost it and it's just not good. This is the beginning of the school holidays and I they are looking to be as crap as the last school holidays.
:(
My kids mean everything to me but sometimes I am so horrible, it is always after they have been awful, but that is no excuse. I don't want their memories to be this shit.