Is this it?? [sad]

[jco]

There is no doubt that being a single parent is the hardest job in the world. I love my children so very much and wouldn't be able to live without them but sometimes i just get so tired. tired of every day being the same, tired of being the only one to shoulder the responsibilty of looking after the kids, tired of the constant domestic drudgery. How nice would it be for somebody to come home at the end of the day and say 'how are you?'

I'm only in my early 30's and yet sometimes i feel like i have no life beyond my children. Is this it? Is this how my life will always be? I always had such plans for myself. i was going to go to uni and have a career, now my greatest acheivement is actually managing to get to the bottom of the washing basket. sometimes i long to be free, just get in my car and drive away without looking back

How old are they? If little maybe you will have time to yourself to study etc when at school?

I have days where I long to run off too, think everyone does.

x

Is there a local adult education service in your area? Even if you don't need qualifications to return to work they often offer hobby type courses and childcare too.

Surestart run quite a lot of courses too, in my area for example there are yoga and reiki plus academic courses for parents with childcare provided.

Would volunteering appeal to you? Childline/NSPCC are looking for volunteers, ask for 1 year of commitment minimum, at a rate of one shift per week. They offer all training (e.g. 10 week counselling course) free of charge. (Unsure about childcare though).

I know what you mean about shouldering the responsibility relentlessly though . It can be a drudge but maybe interacting with other adults more would go some way to help?

Am the same badgerbadger. Always dishing out detailed advice and completely failing to live by it....

How about repositioning it in your head. Freedom to bring up the children as you think best, no arguments about who is responsible for what, no "looking after" an extra person. Other than cooking for the children, you can eat what you want, when you want. No fight for the remote control in the evenings. Plus, you are doing an amazing job, bringing up your children all by yourself.
I've been doing it on my own since 2003, and it has definitely got easier. I do work part-time and find that helps too.

I've been on my own for nearly 3 years now and believe that getting out of my marriage was the best thing i ever did. My children are 5 and 7 and so are both at school during the day, i work part time two afternoons a week at my childrens primary school. I don't know whats wrong with me really, maybe i'm just having a bad day. I think sometimes i just get so tired of always having to look after everybody else, it would be really nice for somebody to look after me for a change.

i can sympathise completely. i am 23 and i truly believ having my baby is the best thing i ever did. however, my life goes - get up, get baby ready, go to work, slog all day, come home, put baby to bed. wash cook, clean, iron, hoover, blah blah blah blah blah. However i made my new years resolution to apply a little initiative to my situation. find ways round childcare, make more of an effort to get out, meet new people etc; i think sometimes the biggest battle is persuading ourselves that we can get out of the rut we are in but with a little ingenuity i suspect it can be done!!!!! ( i certainly bloody hope so anyway goo dluck and i hope you feel better soon!!!!

i think it is the whole feeling of being stuck in a rut. Everything revolves around the kids, I want to have some fun sometimes that is just for me! Don't get me wrong i love my kids and wouldn't be without them for anything. Guess i am just having a moan!!

i was a single parent, then met dp so am no longer but i still sometimes feel stuck in a rut. admittedly this is mostly when i am on holiday from uni. i started doing a degree while i was single btw, so no reason at all why you cant. maybe new year is the right time to start looking at college courses? i was better off on student loan and tax credits than on income support, i also got a lot of financial help with childcare.

tbh i really liked being single, sometimes when dp comes home i wish he would go out for a bit so i could have some time to myself!

oh, and am v of you getting to the bottom of your washing basket, i havent done that for years!

I was on my own for nearly 5 years before I met someone so I know how hard it can be. I think as Bugsy said it's best not to dwell on the negatives but to think of all the positives. Also it doesn't last forever. Your kids are the same age as mine and I feel it gets easier and I have more freedom now although since they went to school I have gone to work every day!!

I always thought it was pretty good being a single mum - making all the decisions about the kids etc, eating what I wanted when I wanted, TV I like, a feeling of pride that my dds were so wonderful and it was all my own work (we have no contact with ex) etc. I do have family support so made sure I was able to get together with friends sometimes etc.

Then I met my lovely dp on-line and I couldn't be happier. Although on days when he isn't with me (we don't live together full-time yet) I am sometimes quite glad to go back to my own peaceful life with evenings to myself etc as ggg said.

I am sure you will get through. I found that once I had really accepted my life and was totally happy with things that I was suddenly ready to meet someone else when it was least expected. But I do miss my old life sometimes all the same so make the most of this time with your kids, evenings to yourself etc.

Believe me goblin, getting to the bottom of my washing basket was a once in a life time achievement which will probabley never be repeated!!! especially since i'm becoming so totally addicted to MN!!

Hi, I think we all feel like this at sometime or another, sometimes its all the time! I still haven't got to the bottom of my washing basket! Maybe you need more adult company then other stuff wouldn't seem like such a drudge, what about a part time college course or even some voluntary work just for the change of scene, hope your feeling a bit better soon

I was a single parent for 6 years ...when my daughter started school at 4yrs old, I started uni ...I dropped from a £25k pa job to being on £10k of student loans and student benefits (ex didnt pay me a penny or see dd ever) but it was soooooo worth it ..I felt like I was 'going somewhere'...and I was there to pick up dd from school at 3pm. I might have been financially poor but I was time rich...and happy.
I went on to become freelance and doing a part time masters..it was through this that I met my dp and we set up in business together ..I'm also 13weeks pregnant so we're really excited...I just wanted you to know you CAN go out there and do it. Don't put your life on hold for the kids- they wont thank you for it- they'll know that you weren't happy. Make yourself happy and fulfilled- then your kids will have a happy mum and that's such a wonderful thing to have. Get on the phone and at least order a prospectus...and have a browse..it can be done

Forgot to add...I was 31 starting uni