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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Are toyboys a bad idea?

13 replies

toptramp · 13/12/2011 23:08

I have been seeing a younger man (11 years younger but legal!). Is it doomed? Everyone used to cite Demi Moor and Ashton Kucher but look what happened to them.

It's casual at the moment but I do like him. I don't know if I should bail out just due to the age gap or not.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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niceguy2 · 14/12/2011 13:36

Depends on the age doesn't it? If he's 21 then the chances of it working are low. And that's the same the other way around. Since as he grows you will be at different stages of your lives.

And does he have kids? If not, he's even less likely to understand your world. But if he's say 35 then the gap isnt such a big deal.

happyatlast · 14/12/2011 13:53

My youngest daughters dad is 21 and I am 37, in my defence he lied about his age for a year!! not a good start!! But anyway I am no longer with him, due to the fact that he had never lived on his own before, up until meeting me was living with his dad, so basically had no idea of how my life was, I had two children when I met him. It lasted nearly two years though.

happyatlast · 14/12/2011 13:55

and forgot to add, my latest was 26, 11 years younger than me, and dumped me two months in, cos he couldnt handle me having 3 children.

I am steering well clear of younger men now, it is difficult because I look alot younger than what I am so attract younger men more than men my age, but I am trying my best to avoid them and wait for someone decent who is closer to my age to come along.

degroote78 · 14/12/2011 15:21

Just keep it fun and casual. There's probably less change of a relationship working out with a big age gap as you'll be at different stages of your life. There are always exceptions, so I guess it just depends on how you both work together.

ParsleyTheLioness · 14/12/2011 17:46

Nothing to stop you just enjoying it, and seeing what happens. I am quite jealous in fact!

anothermum92 · 14/12/2011 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 14/12/2011 21:07

Well if it's good enough for Caroline Flack...

CheeseandGherkins · 14/12/2011 21:19

My dh was 21 when we met :) He's almost 25 now and I've just turned 33. I have 3 children from previous marriage and he had none. We had a daughter together last December but she was stillborn at 37 weeks. I'm now 26 weeks pregnant with another little girl.

He's a wonderful step father and loves them, treats them like his own. Depends on the man too I guess. He moved about 300 miles to be with us and it's been the best relationship I've ever had. We were married a year in September. I couldn't ask for a more wonderful, caring man; he loves me and treats me amazingly. I love him too and we really click.

We've been through a lot together and are all the stronger for it.

Kitesurfgirl · 22/01/2012 11:29

I'm 37 and my gorgeous fiance is 23. We are incredibly happy. Been together for 18months now, living together for over a year. We have completely the same interests in life. I might add that I haven't been married before, or had children, so I think that definitely helps that we are doing everything together for the first time (the old 'no baggage' thing!) ...we lost a baby last June which brought us even closer together and we're now ttc again. I love him to bits. Couldn't be happier. And frankly, couldn't give a damn if other people have an issue with it!!! (might also just add I do look v young for my age, and he looks older than his, so we don't look odd together, not just our opinion, everyone says)

cutteduppear · 22/01/2012 11:31

I had a 25 year old boyf when I was 38. It was fun. In the end (after about 9 months) I finished it because I was ready to move on. It the was easiest ending I think I've ever had to a relationship! We are still friends.

ThompsonTwins · 28/01/2012 09:03

Would love to date a younger guy, am not attracted to men of my own age or older. Am realistic, though, and realise that younger guys would rather go for the young, unwrinkled etc than women like me. Frustrating but true. Find men of my own age and older very needy in the domestic sphere - in a few months DD will leave home and I will be freer. I do not want to exchange that for having to look after a helpless man.

akaemmafrost · 29/01/2012 08:20

I am seeing a younger man, I also look a lot younger than I am and part of me wishes I had just "fibbed" about my age when I met him because he is lovely but I can't see it working out in the long term. He is late twenties and I am 40, I have dc, he doesn't etc. I am trying to just take it really easy and not get too hung up on it but it is hard. I always attract younger men tbh but some of them are real fuckwits!

LineRunner · 30/01/2012 01:43

I had my Toy Boy for 4 years. We split up by mutual agreement last summer.

Really what akaemmafrost said.

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