Need some ideas for xmas with no family nearby

[redriding]

My kids are 20 and 11. Two different dads. DD's birthday is xmas eve - another pressure. They have enjoyed picture perfect xmases in the past with my extended family, but this year - for a variety of reasons - there is no one around for us to be with. My ds said casually to me the other day that he might take the opportunity to have lunch with his dad (and wife and baby) as he feels bad about not spending enough time with him. That leaves me an 11 yr old dd alone. HELP. What can i do to make a happy xmas???

Play games together, open presents, eat hot food, go for walks, hug, chat, leave all the tidying up till the end of the day, read a magazine, watch a DVD, have time alone etc. etc.

Enjoy!

Thanks - and i mean it - but we do a lot of that stuff anyway. dd is talking all the time at this time of year about how much she loves xmas, how it is her special time (having xmas eve birthday) and the thought of just her and me like any other x factor watching saturday, makes me feel sad and small. I can get her presents of course, but she is only 11. Do I have to organise presents for her to give to me so there is something for us to open? Just shoves my nose in how alone i am when other family members turn to their significant others and i have no one. Last xmas was ghastly too. Me and her went to my brother in London. i had the flu. B and sil arguing and tense (she's drinking again...). Pretty grim. I just wish the whole thing would piss off.

Do you have any friends that are in a similar situation?
You could have a birthdayparty/get together on Christmas eve, lots of people without partners or families are lonely at Christmas but don't like to intrude. I've been there myself!

You could start it as a tradition, everyone brings a dish/drink etc.

I take my DC to a children's service on Xmas eve, they can join in the nativity if they want and it's a lovely heartwarming way to get away from the madness and shopping of the season.

Just a thought re presents. My exp doesn't always get me something from the girls, which obviously doesn't bother me, but they worry!

So what we do now is I give eldest DD(10) some money and she picks something (after covert talks with DD2) in a shop and being older she goes and pays for it. I'm there too, but I leave them to it.

Have you got a homeless centre nearby who might be looking for volunteers for serving Xmas lunch? Nice to get out and give something that costs nothing possibly

We invite all our neighbors for mince pies and drinks in garden (if dry) about 1130 - just mulled wine but it's nice to see who is around and then there is always a return invite over the holidays

I have been on my own since my kids were 5 and 7 and have no family around (all in Australia). When they were around 7 and 9 I would take them to M&S or Boots, give them about £10 and ask them to buy me a present. They loved choosing it and giving it (although like most young children had to tell me what it was straight away). Now they 12 and 14 and went off on their own last Saturday with their pocket money to buy presents for me and each other.

I would suggest either you or your son taking to a large Boots, giving her some money, suggesting a few ideas and then letting her choose a gift for you.

oh callow it is was horrible that situation wasnt it? I just moved abroad alone with my 5yo son, so just two of us, will be fun definitely this christmas:/

Just me and my DD for xmas this year.

I actually love it, and love the lack of outside pressures caused by visitors and having to cater for many.

I make it special by having things that we only have at xmas, from little things like shloer drinks to board game playing, xmas films, xmas telly helped by certain things only being on at xmas.

Then theres the food - been saving up stocks of nice stuff we don't usually have for a while, and I get party buffet type things in as well as xmas dinner with all the trimmings.

This year I've bought dingbats, a game I loved as a kid - looking forward to playing that.

I encourage DD to save pocket money to get people pressies (including me) and I also give her a bit extra to get me something as well so we both have stuff to open.

We have cats and get little cat toys as pressies for them too so that provides a bit of added entertainment.

I have a very old but working fireplace, and I save using it for xmas day only and when temps are well into the minus figures, which isn't often so that's another special thing.

Aw, I don't think she will feel it the way you do- she'll probably be just as happy having special time with you as having a big family thing! Second what other people have said about silly games. I've ordered a lego game off ebay, really very cheap but a new thing we haven't tried before, so hopefully we'll do that. Though I also have toddler around to liven things up, so will see if that works at all. Also if you feel comfortable with it, and want something social, look for church services in the morning maybe? Most churches are fine with single mums now (I always have a bit of a panic before I go to a new one in case they are all like 'SINNER' at me, but it hasn't happened yet), and there would probably be other families, and the chance to have a bit of a sing (main reason we go, my 9yo is a rabid atheist ). Or if not, and you can afford it, could you book for the two of you to go out somewhere posh-ish for christmas dinner instead of at home? I've never been able to afford to do this myself but my mum booked us all to go one year and it was a nice change, even though I like doing the cooking usually.

Also definitely I'd be expecting her to get you a wee gift at that age! Mine loves making me things, they often do at school, so it doesn't have to cost anything, but recently she's been saving up some pocket money and getting little things in charity shops or at school sales e.g. got me a new (second hand) wallet and a teddy for her sister- they love giving presents I think, and it's a good skill to learn, picking things someone else might like. She's even old enough to wrap it herself etc.

Really hope you have a great time, both of you!

This is the first year it's just me and my dc (8 and9) at Xmas and I'm feeling the same!! Got some really cheap panto tickets for te 23rd so doing that but not sure what to do with Xmas Eve and Xmas day. Moved last year and no other single mums that I know around otherwose Iknwo we could ahve mucked in wih other sm frieds. Just us... Loads of presens to opena nd I have bought extra things like mor board games so we can play those. It's the thought of the meal that's making me love catering for a crowd!

I think it's nice to start creating your own "traditions" if you can. For example maybe going to cinema on Christmas eve and then home for pizza. Or listening and singing along to the Carols from Kings on the radio on Christmas eve afternoon as you make some mince pies. A walk, Christmas eve service. We deliver all our local Christmas cards to neighbours on christmas eve and wrap up warm to do so. Get your kids to help in preparing the brussel sprouts and laying the table. I agree with the funny games - card games are also good. Christmas day also includes a long walk with the dog in our house! We also go and pick holly and put it up around the house. then there are loads of films to watch, chocolates to eat etc and getting into pyjamas early and going to bed early after all the food!