Sure it is a familiar feeling to all loners!
found out that my DH/Ex was having an affair with a family friend about 20 months ago. All very unpleasant for me from both him and her with lots of threats for me not to tell her DP, which I did not. ( not sure why but...)
Well, I expect him to move out of the house and leave me and the two DCs to pick up the pieces of our lives. We remain polite and civil in front of our DCs and he continues to sleep in spare room, we take kids out to park and he goes off and sees her whenever he feels like it. When ever she gets stressed with the lies she has created inher life, this gets blamed on me and she has yet another crisis, requiring more support etc etc.
I think for some time I just existed on automatic pilot, got up, got kids to childcare and went to work, came home and survived. Everytime I tried to do anything, there seemed to be something stopping me or in reality me not facing up to things.
Three times over the next 15 months, he says he is gone packs a bag and leaves. Three times he is back within 48hrs, I come home to supper being cooked and to all intents and purposes - happy family life (not)
Her DP finds out and talks to me, the proverbial hits the fan and somehow I end up being blamed by my DH/Ex for the situation and making her life hell. She and her DP go to see counsellor, who asks her when my EX has laid it on a plate for her - fully furnished house to move into etc why did she not leave. She apparently says because she does not really want to. She and her DP are making a go of it - allegedly but I also know she is still stringing my EX along.
They are seeing each other much less, maybe 1-2 per month where as before it was 2-3 times per week.
I got tired of expecting him to move out and have managed to save up enough money for a deposit ( I have a good job) and bought a house 5 months ago. Nice to have the space to think and just breathe.
I now find that Ex is spending more and more time at my new place, " to see DCs," allegedly but he also seems to want to fix things around the house and help etc etc.
I just do not know what to make of this - does he want to try again? I know he is still seeing drama queen on occasions.
We have never screamed at each other and I stop myself saying what I want to because I know it will backfire on the DCS and on the vague chance of her becoming their step - but after nearly 2 years if they were going to get it together surely they would have done by now?
I know he is trying to have his cake and eat it and did for 15 months - me at home providing family and security and her being fun and games but I jsut do not get why he will not get on with his life. I think he is lonely as few of his friends agree with what he has done and have stopped calling him to go and do stuff but am I stupid enough to give him another chance?
Sorry for the ramble, can not balme the booze either - just tired, childrens parties, xmas and .....