Sleeping arrangements for DC when staying with ex

[FannyBazaar]

I am not very happy that ex expects our 6yo DS to share his bed on the odd occasion he has over night contact. I did ask about this when he moved to his new place and he said DS would have his bed and he would sleep on the sofa, but this isn't happening. Ex is a smoker, has a drink problem and snores loudly. DS is used to sleeping in his own bed all night at home.

Relationship with ex is not great, he is not good at communication, everything is done through texts, he won't usually answer the phone to me or DS. Contact is very irregular.

Am I being fair to insist he provides a separate bed for DS? Any ideas on how to approach this with ex?

Ds shares double with ex DD on blow up on the floor next to the bed,
they are similar ages to your Ds.

He's six - it's not like he's going to smother him and it's only occasionally. Pick your battles - this wouldn't be one of mine.

My DS used to share his dad's bed at that age. Wouldn't make a fuss unless your DS himself is unhappy about it. You can buy ReadyBeds though which are rather good - sleeping bag and lilo all in one, comes with a little pump. Can get them at Argos - make a good Christmas present. My DCs both had them for sleepovers and loved them.

I would have no problem with this except for "Ex is a smoker, has a drink problem". and that line would give me a real problem.

How to approach it? Maybe buy a ready-bed for DS to keep there, make it all exciting and fun for him?

Yes, ChasingSquirrels that's what I have a problem with. I also don't think DS gets a good undisturbed sleep as despite having been put to bed early (which he complained about) last two times he was there, he has seemed quite tired the next day when returned.

I have thought of the idea of a ready bed, but wonder if ex would actually make an effort to set it up or would it be easy enough for DS to do? I also wonder if it would go to ex's never be used and lost or forgotten about, especially if he moves again. Maybe I should point out the ready beds to DS, ask him if he thinks it would be a good idea to have at Daddy's place and see if he adds it to his Christmas list for Daddy!

Your DS would be able to pump it up himself, possibly with minimal help from his dad putting the stopper in. My DD absolutely loved hers when she was about 5, would have slept in it every night if allowed and would readily have pumped it up herself.