Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Worried about ex's fraught relationship and impact on DCs

3 replies

Purpleroses · 05/12/2011 20:12

My DCs spend 2 nights a week with their dad. He and his DW are expecting a baby very soon, and his mother in law has come to stay with them in their very small flat for 2 or 3 months. DCs have been telling me that their dad and his DW have been rowing a lot lately. Seems they have huge clashes in how to bring up a baby - she is Japanese so I think there are cultural differences. I'm worried about the impact on my DCs. I'm worried about the rows themselves. My DCs are both looking forward to having a new baby (half) brother but I'm worried that if it all falls apart he could be taken off to Japan and they'll never see him.

Me and my ex have always had a fairly amicable relationship with flexible arrangements for when he has the DCs. I'm not sure whether to offer to have them more than usual for the next few months. Or let him have contact at mine? (Not a problem in a practical sense as I spend most of the time at my BF's when they're not here) Or what else I can do to mimimise the fall-out on my DCs? Feel very helpless in the situation. If they're rowing now, when it's not even been born, how is it not just going to get worse? Any suggestions?

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 05/12/2011 22:07

it is your ex's problem to sort out - let him come to you with his requests. if you take the Dc more they may feel dad is rejecting them for new baby.

let your ex sort it all out. his problem.

Barreal · 06/12/2011 12:32

I live in Japan. A word of warning, if their relationship sours, your ex will not have any rights to see his child if she manages to take the child back to Japan.
It is a huge problem for foreign fathers in Japan. Huge.

Purpleroses · 07/12/2011 22:29

Doesn't make much difference really from my DC's point of view. If things fell apart and their D(half)B went to Japan, there's no way their dad would ever be able to afford to take them out their to see him anyway, rights or no rights.

Yes, I do need to let him sort out the problems. Just wondering what I can do to protect them from getting hurt or caught in the crossfire.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page