He's let them down but I have to deal with the fallout

[Belini]

Ex was supposed to have DSs aed 6 and 4 yesterday from 12-5. phoned him at eleven to doube check arrangements for dropping off and he tells me his electrics have blown and he is waiting for an engineer. Fair enough no point him taking them to his if he has no electric. So I ask what his plans are for tomorrow (today) he says he is working at five so I asked if he would have them for a couple of hours just so they have seen him as they get very upset. He said no prblem I will come and get them at 12. As I am posting this I have heard nothing from him despite numerous phonecalls and a text. The boys are sitting glued to the window it is heartbreaking

Hi Belini

I know the feeling, there is nothing worse than seeing your kids hurt because of the selfish behaviour or their 'dads' I now try not to tell kids when their Dad is meant to be visiting or if they ask I always say 'should' never definite and never promise
I wish I could make these dads see the damage they do but in my case it always falls on deaf ears, I still always tell him regardless cause I will always stick up for my kids but it is exhausting!!! I can never understand why they wouldn't want to spend time with them, they are fabulous!
Anyway if I were you, distract kids with a xmas movie and a treat tea or something and just let them know you are there and love them very much!

I second bramble. heartbreaking. I took my kids 400 miles to see hteir dad this summer (as per his demands) and he wouldn't open his door to them You're their stable, constant parent - the one they can rely on and yes it is really really tough as they take their hurt and upset out on you, but they will grow up knowing who they can trust and who really loves them. Your ex will regret this one day ás will mine and all the others. You take care xx

Aw ((hugs)) I do as Belini does, I rarely tell the children if he is coming to anything they are doing because more often then not he wont make it. I dont blame him for not going, its his choice and often works long hours - all I care about is that the kids are not disappointed. Its a fine art judging what to do, fingers crossed he gets in touch.

Really feel for you all, my ex kept my daughter (4) waiting for 7 hours once, she sat by the window waiting for him for hours. Very distressing and he didn't give a hoot!

I've learnt my lesson now, I don't tell her anymore then she can't get upset? Only two weeks ago he rolled up at 9.20pm and couldn't understand why she was in bed asleep!

Your doing the right thing and your children know that xx

Christ almighty I am constantly shocked at what these asswipes put their kids through. TG they have good mothers who love them. How horrible for you to have to pick up the pieces.