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Family Court

9 replies

mrsmcv · 30/11/2011 20:19

Another Christmas in court. This will be six. Our daughter is 5 1/2 years old. She sees her dad every other weekend and half the holidays. I don't object.

She hates it and cries all the time. He was violent to me in our marriage. I would be dead if I'd stayed with him. I have never ever withheld contact, turned up late, told him she's ill when she's not etc. I still send her all the time.

Why then, have I been in court since she was five months old? My solicitor says it's because there is an ongoing dispute. Of course there is. Every time something is agreed/ ordered, I do it and my ex husband objects to it after a few months and makes another application so we go back to court and the whole pointless circus starts again.

There is not a single person now who has any doubt that our lovely daughter is being used as a stick to beat me with and this nasty piece of work only uses the court to continue his abuse.

Why do I have to take time off work to go to court/ doctors/ solicitors/ CAFCASS? Should I be living on benefits so I have time to help all these people make their money? Should I be spending money on this or should my daughter benefit? When is this nightmare going to end?

I keep being told it's when our daughter is old enough to reject her father for herself. Lovely. What a choice to abdicate to the conscience of a child who is surrounded by adults whose job it is, paid or unpaid, to take care of her. If they and we can't decide, how can she possibly do it? Why should she? Why does it have to be extreme?

I now sincerely wish I was dead and that my daughter was in care. Our lives are not worth living thanks to an abusive, violent ex husband and the stupid self-serving court and solicitors that sit there on their useless backsides making money out of children and vulnerable people.

If one more of them and their horrible kind tell me that his continued abuse, my daughter's nightly tears and my own devastated health are in her best interest, I am going to scream and hit someone.

There. I've said it.

OP posts:
mrscolour · 30/11/2011 20:38

Sorry I have no words of wisdom but didn't want to read and run. Sorry you find yourself in this situation. Try and be strong!

ThoughtsPlease · 30/11/2011 21:15

Has your solicitor mentioned asking the court to make an order that he cannot return to court again within a specified time period?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 30/11/2011 21:29

if he sees his daughter every other week-end then what exactly is the ongoing dispute that he is taking you to court for? What exactly does he want?

cestlavielife · 30/11/2011 22:23

Have you taken dd to child psychologist to talk and assess whether contact is on her best interest ?

struwelpeter · 30/11/2011 23:31

Talk to women's aid and or rights of women. This is continuing abuse and it is possible for him to be classed as a vexatious litigant and not be allowed to go back to court again and again. What have his grounds been each time around?
Do go the gps and seek advice for both you and your DD so that the affect on you is documented. It cannot be in her best interests for her mum to be so provoked by this.
Perhaps also ask in legal as solicitors post there. Brew

ladydeedy · 01/12/2011 09:25

What is the issue? Why is there an ongoing court situation?

angrywoman · 01/12/2011 17:19

Wow, poor you...! I have been in court 2 christmases and am hoping this will be the last. My solicitor is going to try and get my ex's case dismissed for now, as he is an alcoholic and has missed many contacts. What Stru says above... do those things. You're not the only one suffering.My life is reduced to one step at a time thinking at the moment, I am so depressed!! Waiting to hear from Mind re. counselling.

mrsmcv · 03/12/2011 22:13

Thank you all so much for your support and comments, it's really helpful. I really wish I knew what the issue was and I wish I could resolve it but nothing I do ever ends this continual fight. Got appointment to see GP and progressing a referral to a child psychologist to prove what effect this is having on dd.

Thanks again everyone, really appreciate it

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 04/12/2011 08:12

If you are keeping to the terms of the ordered contact your solicitor should VERY STRONGLy demand a ban on your ex bringing you back to court. The judge will grant it as family courts are there to serve the interests of the child NOT parental o0ne upmanship.

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