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Damned if I do, damned if I don't

1 reply

slavetomyson · 25/11/2011 09:39

Morning all! Just referring to general communications with the ex. I try not to text him much, to 'bother' him, but when he asks how our DS is and I have to tell him anything remotely negative, he either doesn't believe me, or he takes it personally as if it's his fault, or he just thinks i'm saying stuff to make him feel like the guilty neglectful father that he is. I don't see why I should dress up situations to make them better than they really are, just to put his mind at rest, when he plays such a non existent proactive role in our son's life. On the other hand, if I don't tell him things, he complains too.. so I really can't win!! I've told him i'll only tell him stuff which is important regarding our son's health or any problems which he could help with (ie nothing really) but he still doesn't seem happy and picks my texts apart whenever I tell him anything, and the whole text conversation turns into a giant power struggle.. :-( I try not to let his comments get to me and know he's probably only doing it for a reaction, but I still feel like I cant win whatever I do. Case in point he asked how DS was the other day, and I told him about some behavioural issues at school, instead of talking to me about it (he never rings, it's always texts) and he decided to go behind my back and ring the school himself which ultimately made us look like a pair of ridiculous non communicating split up parents with issues. What an idiot!! I'm sure we've all had similar experiences but would like some suggestions of what to do, as at the moment I see little point in telling him anything at all unless completely necessary ie emergencies..

OP posts:
ladydeedy · 25/11/2011 11:01

How often does he see DS? and how old is DS? I dont think it is unusual for split parents to both have contact with the school - they frankly dont care too much about any communications between you both, as you both have PR and they can communicate with both of you.
you could do what some other parents do here and send a "diary" that each of you completes each day if there are things of note to share as the child goes back and forth. But maybe DS doesnt see his dad v much?

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