Helping your child with their feelings

[chelen]

Hi, I'm a stepmum (SS lives with his Dad and me), I thought lone parents where your ex-p left the family would have lots of experience with this issue.

My SS seems to have just realised his mum didn't 'have to' move away and has just in last few days stopped blaming his Dad for not 'stopping' her leaving. I think he has just opened his mind to the possibility that his Mum made choices (she moved a long way, is there most of the time but does come back for regular contact).

He is now really, really sad. It is heart breaking to see him so sad about things.

I just wondered if your children had gone thru similar 'realisations' and if they had struggled, how you helped them, what to expect next.

Any help or experiences gratefully received. TIA.

how old is he ?

Hi, he's 8.

I think just listening to him and ackowledging that it is hard and sad sometimes. Maybe reinforcing that he has a dad and stepmum that love him very much.

Maybe giving him a 'feelings' book where he can write down how he is feeling and encourage him to share it with you.

What you don't want is for him to feel he can't talk to you about it or bottling it all up.

www.amazon.co.uk/Hugging-Rock-Susan-Taylor-Brown/dp/1845078306 hugging the rock is a beautifuly written book that dad could read with him - about a mom (it is american) who leaves and the strong relationship between dad and daughter - and your ss has both of you, ta book o read together and let him talk

Hi, thank you for the replies. He was so sad again today, he just looks rather stunned. I will look at that book.

What's the story behind his mother - it's unusual for a mother to leave.

if talking at home doesnt seem to help then next step woiuld be GP and referral to a counsellor/psychologist