ex and potty training dd!help!

[MissPricklePants]

ex has decided that dd is too old for nappies. He wants to potty train her next time he has her (he has her 6 hours a week, no overnight through choice) and wants to force her to do it. The issue is that dd isnt showing signs of being ready for it plus she has a speech and language delay and difficulty understanding and he is aware of this. Wwyd?leave him to it? Or say something? Very concerned that it will make it harder to potty train dd in the future if he is forcing her. Oh and he is controlling and abusive to me, don't want him to start doing that to dd! (i have posted this in behaviour and development so apologies if you have read it twice)

how old is she?

does she recognize being wet/done poo?

i f he wants her to sit on potty at regular intervals then fine -you could both be doing this introducing potty.

but you cant "force" a child.

potty training ni six hours? wow! i would just let him get on with it if he wants to have her in pants and clean up the inevitable....

she is 30 months, she doesnt recognise being wet/done a poo. She has nappy free time every day and does sit on the potty but doesnt do anything on it. I will say that she is not ready and then leave him to it! This is prob the best thing to do, hope he doesnt force her to sit on it x

30 months is still quite young, esp given the speech delay (e.g. harder for her to tell you she needs potty/loo - so being fully trained a little way off). I'd tell him that by all means try it, but you are sure she isn't ready, and not to push it. Tough one. Hope you manage to convince him to put her needs first...

if she is learning some makaton signs she can easily learn toilet sign so lack of speech itself should not put you off. my son with no speech at all severe ld autism etc eventually learned age nine - no speech but uses makaton toilet sign v successfully now. so speech delays does not = never toilet train.

however - if she not indicating she knows when she gone in nappy then she isnt ready -tho you could give it a try in summer when she can go with nothing on her lower half much more easily and you can try an intensive programme

in meantime keep up potty time espec at times you know she goes eg first thing in morning, etc - try and get a diary going of when she wets/poos by watching closely over few days so you have better idea of eg how long after a meal before going etc - then you can time the potty time better

oh and if ex only has for six hours - well up to him if he wants to carry spare clothes and a potty around...

didn't mean to imply a relationship between potty training and speech delay - not at all - sorry if that's how it came across, 'tell' could mean various things, not necessarily speech per se. My friend's DD has severe global delay but was trained by about 6, I think, well before her speech had developed to the point where she could ask.

I was only meaning that there's a big difference between putting child on potty at regular intervals and the child being potty trained.

Sorry if I caused offence

also don't imagine that 6 hours is really going to crack it...

no offence taken. She does know some makaton and knows the potty/toilet sign but doesnt use it when she needs to or when she has done anything. Well I will say to him that she isnt quite ready yet and leave him to it. Hope dd doesnt get too upset, she hasnt got a great bond with him so is a bit wary of him.

phew! I don't understand why he wants to spend his limited time with her on something as tedious as potty training, but I imagine that's another thread entirely..good luck