Anyone fairly amicable with exdh but having probs with exinlaws?

[want2change]

EXdh and i seem to be managing things fairly amicably so far, though its early days. i can see inlaws putting a spanner in the works though - they are not really close to exdh, though none of them admit it, and i think they are panicking that they will not see dc, though have never really been there for them / us. its hard to explain unless youve been in this sitn but i almost feel like they are going to take them away from me...i dont want to ban them from seeing dc but they are so negative and critical that i really feel they could damage the children emotionally if they see them if im not around to oversee things. They are in denial re the way they act / talk and exdh wont say anything because he doesnt want to rock the boat. i feel like hes more worried about the welfare of his parents than dc.

Make it clear to them that they will not lose touchwith their DGC's & are welcome to visit the DC's at any time at your house (they won't but it is a good olive branch) & if the door is open try & take them to the DGP's so you can try & keep it civil. Grandparents DO lose out in divorce so their concerns aren't unfounded.

However if the DC's are with their Dad on access visits there isn't a thing you can do about their toxicity & you can't ban him from visiting his family. It's stomach-turning but you just have to take it on the chin.