About to become a lone parent

[Nat38]

Hi
Not sure if this is the right thread, but Im sure youll point me in the right direction if its not!! Me & hubby of 20 years have finally accepted today that out marriage is over & that there is nothing left to salvage. We have 2 DD age 11 & 12. Hubby says that he is not quite ready to leave yet, I imagine that he has a lot of stuff to work through. Im reasonably happy with this as long as he quite civil with me. Im quite easy going & have the kids interests at heart. One last christmas & all that!! My question is where do I go from here?? Or where do I go as soon as we see the new year in??!! I know I can cope emotionally & with the kids but what about finances & him seeing the kids etc?? Can I force him out of the family home sooner than he wants?? Im quite looking forward to life without him!! Itll be a lot more relaxing for me & the kids!! & peaceful!! Sorry to come across as being a bit of a bitch but I cant help feeling the way I do.
Any advice most welcome!
Thanks

Hi,
You don't come across as a bitch at all! Just a woman who's marriage has come to an end.

It would be good if he could come up with a timescale for him to move out as I can imagine that you'll only be able to cope with that for so long. Would be good to get some financial and access arrangements sorted out quickly. Do you work? I don't suppose you'll be able to claim any extra benefits until he moves out. It would be good to close down any joint accounts asap. Is he happy for the children to stay living with you?

Yes, I think as soon as the New Year has come & gone Ill be getting very impatient to start our new lives!! I work part time, term time, Im not happy closing joint accounts until he has moved out, he doesnt abuse the finances at all, but as soon as he moves out thats my first job!!
As far as the children go, he`s happy for the them to live with me & I have no problem with access/visiting rights/holidays etc.

I would recommend seeing if you can get on a Separated Parents Course (PIPS) if you go through the Courts then you get sent on one anyway but it covers how to break the split to your children in an effective way instead of dropping it on them like a bombshell and looks at how they might be feeling etc and the worries they have: Will they go to a new school, will they get to see their friends, who will they live with, will they still see their cousins/grandparents, was the split their fault and things like that.

His view on when he sees them etc may well change and it would be worth drawing up a schedule at least for the first month say just so the girls see him consistently and everyone knows where they stand.

Thanks both for the advice! Still trying to sort things in my head, but Im in no doubt thats its the right decision for both of us.