Worried about my DS

[rubin]

I'm really really worried about my DS. He's only 3 & generally a very happy child but recently I feel theres something just not right with him. The background is that relations between myself & Ex is not good but we never ever show any animosity in front of our DC & I always talk to my children about their dad, when he's coming back to see them, etc.

Their dad has them every 2nd or 3rd weekend.
Their father is extremely bitter about everything to do with our children living with me & recently has been extremely verbally abusive to me - by email & text. He's constantly accusing me of being an unfit, unloving mother, that my children don't love me & hate coming home to me. I try so hard to ignore him but I'm really worried that in some way his hatred towards me is somehow affecting my DS - is that mad?? Yesterday he actually took a photograph of my DS crying/really upset & said this was because he didn't want to come home to me. And yet when he came home he was completely fine & in great form!
The other child is absolutely fine & seems to cope really well with everything.
But my DS in question has been having a lot of accidents (pee pees, etc) & refuses point blank to poo in the potty & sometimes I think he's just a bit unsure about things.
I've been giving him lots of extra cuddles, but just don't know what else I should do. He asks after his father a lot & I always talk very enthusiastically with him about when his dad is coming back next.
Any advice welcome...

Your ex's behaviour is shocking! How are you coping with it all? Is your ex verbally abusive towards you in front of the children? Has he always had an issue with pooing in the potty or is this a new thing? Is there consistency between the two houses on potty training issues?
Sounds like you are doing the right things. How about talking to your HV to get a bit of reassurance.

He doesn't say anything to me in front of them. He's a bully & I reckon most bullies are cowards - he'll only abuse me by phone, text or email.
My DS has had issues with pooing in the potty, but it seems to be getting worse & he's started having pee pee accidents too.

I recently emailed my Ex to ask that we both try to work together on this matter, but he always takes everything I say so defensively & yesterday accused me of being the reason why he's having so many accidents.

I'm going to call my HV tomorrow though - thanks - it might help to talk to someone else about it all.

If it's any consolation, my friend's little girl has issues with pooing in the potty and she is from a stable, two-parent home. So it might not have anything to do with your circumstances. And he might be having wee accidents because he's coming down with something. I'm going through the whole potty training thing with my ds and it's so stressful, especially when the other parent isn't supportive.

Thanks mrscolour, hope you're right.