How to explain absent father to 4yr old DD?

[babycarmen]

Hi there, My DD has just turned 4 and has started to ask questions about her daddy.
He left me when i was pregnant with her and seen her a couple of times when she was a baby but thats it, he didnt want anything to do with her. 2 years ago i got together with my DP and were now expecting a baby together. Obviously DD knows he isnt her 'real dad' and has started asking where her daddy is a lot.

How do i explain to her or what do i say? I dont want to lie to her but at the same time i dont want to make him out to be a bad person because if he ever decided he wanted to see her i wouldnt stop him if he really wanted to be there for her (probably never happen but you never know).

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks

Hello I am in the same situation, I have a 5yo with a absent father and I have to say it is very difficult!

I have said that her daddy didn't want to be a daddy and it is really sad but her mummy wanted to be a mummy very much and how much everyone loves her. The fact that you have a new partner should make things eaiser in that at least she has a male figure. There is a book called the family book by todd someone on amazon that is quite good at showing how different families are and also a book called 'do I have a daddy?' which is a bit american but quite good conversation starter iyswim!

It is hard and I think as long as you are honest as you can be and ackowledge that it is hard for her you are on the right track.

Also she will want as much info as you can give her so if you have enough stuff maybe consider putting some bits together in a kind of 'daddy book.' Its natural for her to be curious.

Thanks for the reply!

Some really good suggestions and ideas thanks, its so hard to know what to do for the best sometimes! I wasnt sure on how to approach the subject at all.