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Original poster

Ex is parking up outside my house

20 replies

NotaDisneyMum · 04/11/2011 16:37

He works about 10 mins walk away and used to put his car in the staff car park - but since I put my foot down a few weeks ago and stopped letting him bully me, he's been leaving his car a few yards from my house every few days Angry

I'm starting to wonder if he has split with his partner - he's behaving towards me now the same way as he did 2 1/2 years ago when we first split Sad

OP posts:
piellabakewell · 04/11/2011 17:14

Let his tyres down Grin

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 04/11/2011 19:13

ignore it, as soon as the weather gets grim he'll stop doing it.

A genuine question here - why do you mind him parking outside your house?

Original poster
NotaDisneyMum · 04/11/2011 19:35

Because he will refer to things that he has assumed based on what he has seen at the house - for instance, he'll say in an email something like "I assume [DP's name] is working away as his car wasn't there today" or "I saw someone knocking on your door today. Why didn't you answer the door?"

I've recently realised that he likes to "keep tabs" on me and thinks that he has some control over what I do - he assumes that my daily routine is the same as it was when he and I were together (2 1/2 years ago); he is desperately trying to work out my "new" routine since I changes jobs and lifestyle. I don't think it's malicious - he's just more comfortable being able to predict things that are happening; but my life in none of his damn business!

I recognise that there is also some unresolved personal "issues" in play - I do feel bitter about the way in which the family assets (including the car he drives) were divided - although that is entirely my own doing as I walked away without putting up a fight Blush

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KatharineClifton · 04/11/2011 19:36

Report him to the police for stalking. This is what he is doing.

RealityIsADistantMemory · 04/11/2011 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NotaDisneyMum · 04/11/2011 19:41

Katharine - really? I thought they'd need a lot more than just a car parked on a public street?

I suspect he will "justify" his parking there as it is near his place of work and DD's school - even though DD walks to and from his workplace to meet him when he parks at work!

He did this before, actually - when DD had a school carol concert last year, he and his parents (who were visiting for the weekend) parked up outside my house - the former family home that I bought off him - and walked the 10 minutes to the venue Hmm

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KatharineClifton · 04/11/2011 19:44

Yes, really.

meglet · 04/11/2011 19:45

Just report it to the police. It does sound rather 'stalk-y'.

They might want to keep an eye on the situation or have a word with him.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 04/11/2011 19:50

Yes it does sound stalk-ery.

can you get one of those court order thingies, i forget what there called, whereby he can't come within 100 metres of your home?

jjgirl · 05/11/2011 11:51

i would be tempted to email back and ask him if he has done any other stalking activities which he has not mentioed so you can add them to your diary of him stalking you. and tell him you need it soon as the police will come round again on xyz date for an update.

sorry am in a wicked mood tonight. :o

marcopront · 07/11/2011 08:56

The parking is OK, he can justify that. The emails are the 'stalk-y" bit.

Grumpla · 07/11/2011 09:03

That's scary. Keep all the emails (and texts etc if he is sending those) and report him to the police.

Parking outside your house - deliberately intimidating. But would be hard for the police to do much more than have a word with him on that basis, unless he was breaching a court order etc. Emails demonstrating that he is watching your house - TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. That is harassment, plain and simple and they should be able to stop him doing so.

Tempting though it might be to simply walk out and slash his tyres one morning, don't do it. He is trying to provoke you into
engaging with him.

WhoWhoWhoWho · 07/11/2011 12:18

The parking the car there is like he is making a weird point, which you can't do a great deal about but tied in with the email comments its definitely strange stalker type territory. I would at the very least log it with someone at the police.

How do you respond when he asks you if your DP is away or why you didn't answer your door? I would be very unnerved by comments like this!

KatharineClifton · 07/11/2011 14:06

'The parking is OK, he can justify that.'

Only if there is no parking at work or in the space between work and where he is parking. It is unjustifiable.

Stalking laws cover stalking. Report him.

OctonautsOnRepeat · 07/11/2011 14:18

it sounds like he is marking his territory.

Original poster
NotaDisneyMum · 07/11/2011 18:58

Whowho - I have a minimal contact approach, so I ignore anything that's not directly related to DD!

He's displayed 'stalking' behaviour before - I changed my eBay and other online accounts as he was monitoring them and commenting on my activity! Angry

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WhoWhoWhoWho · 08/11/2011 11:22

Yes I think ignoring any comment not about your DD is wise, he is very foolish to write these things in email.

Shock again at him monitoring your ebay activity! Is any of that in writing? On ebay or email? He sounds very strange and creepy.

You are probably right that he has split up with his gf and is single again. How horrible for you.

LydiaWickham · 08/11/2011 11:29

How about the repeating the same line trick?

Each e-mail should be replied with:
"As we are no longer together, my life is none of your concern. I only wish to discuss matters relating to our daughter. If you persist in monitoring me I will forward this to the police."

Reply to all non-DD related e-mails in the same way, then forward all to the police, he can't then say you didn't make it clear you didn't want him to engage in your life.

KatharineClifton · 08/11/2011 19:34

Have you reported him yet?

Original poster
NotaDisneyMum · 08/11/2011 22:10

I've got the details of the local neighbourhood officer - when the cars there next, I'm going to call him; he knows the area so will be aware of how 'unreasonable' it is which will, hopefully, assist.
I'm also anticipating that exH has, or soon will, apply for a section 8 residency order, so will probably get a letter written to him about it by my solicitor.

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