Benefits now - separated, or wait until divorced?

[DiamondDoris]

Soon to be ex H said he doesn't want me enquiring about benefits until divorce is finalised (progressing but not there yet) - I'm supporting my kids on child tax credits, DLA and maintenance - I haven't found a job yet and am struggling a bit. I'd like to see if I'm entitled to any help (ie free school dinners) while I'm not working, but he said I shouldn't as he's afraid he may have to pay more in maintenance/or sell his home to help me out. I think he's talking out of his backside - I don't want more money from him, just financial help while I'm unemployed. Anyone else been bullied like this?

How old are the dc?

Just claim what you need. Dont let him bully you.

The DC are 8 and 5 and both have special needs - one is diabetic and the other possible ASD (awaiting diagnosis - no DLA yet/maybe never) - both require a lot of time and assistance, which does make job hunting more difficult. Yes, I shall enquire and not tell him as he doesn't have a right to know, but unfortunately he still seems to think we're married, though we're living separately - yuk.

So it will be jobseekers for you then, not income support. Known as ESA now I think.

Have you applied for council tax -and housing benefit?

No, I haven't - and my money is slowly dwindling because I've had to buy furniture for new home and things going wrong with it. I think I'm entitled to something, will enquire. Thanks. He just likes to remain in control unfortunately.

So it will be jobseekers for you then, not income support. Known as ESA now I think.

ESA - employment support allowance - used to be incapacity benefit and what you claimed if unfit to work.

Income support - m.direct.gov.uk/syndicationController?action=view&st=0&utn=90ef8b185aa3404bbc14201110292023&param=DG_175842 currently claimable if you are a lone parent your child is under 12 but soon changing

Claim - he us bullying you - is he paying any maintenance/ mortgage at all?

Sorry if youngest child is under 7 you qualify for income support.

The child tax credits should mean that you are entitled to free school meals, you need to give a copy of your award to the school and fill out a form.

Definitely worth applying fur income support (or if the dla is for you then maybe ESA instead) also housing benefit (if you're renting) and council tax benefit. Free school meals too. Also make sure tax credits know you've separated and find out how this affects your entitlement as well.

Income support or ESA should be applied for through job centre either online or on the phone, housing and council tax help and school meals through your local council. Don't put off applying as it is difficult to get backdated.

Is the DLA for the child, and is it for MRC/HRC? If so, you can put in a claim for Carer's Allowance which would enable you to claim Income Support as a carer. You can claim IS now anyway as your youngest is under 7, but that is changing soon so you'd have to claim JSA instead if you don't have CA in place. You can claim CA for a disabled child of any age if you aren't working, as long as they get MRC or HRC of DLA.

It can be impossible to hold down a regular job when you have children with SN but CA/IS recognises that and you won't have the same pressure to seek work that you'd get if you go on JSA. I have a child with ASD too and caring is a FT job really, it isn't like being a LP to a typical child.