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Lone parents

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Original poster

lonely pregnant mum of 1 after cheating partner left 1 week before due date

6 replies

shar2012 · 26/10/2011 18:47

lonely after i found out my partner had been cheating on me through out our relationship even when i was pregnant he was sleeping with other girls. I have been with my ex for 7 years on and off and we have a 3 year old daughter together an had plans to get married in the future but now it wont be happening anymore. i was a good partner never cheated and always took him back for our daughters sake but i am now 21 an have decided its not health to be with him for myself or our kids. I feel so lonely and stressed don't really have anyone to talk to who understands what i'm going through would really love company of another mum or dad who was in the same situation or who is having a baby this month really nice to have someone to relate to. :(

OP posts:
Loobyloo1902 · 26/10/2011 20:10

I didn't want to leave this unanswered this evening, I haven't been through what you have but sending you a virtual hug and a hand held. From what you're saying, it sounds like a brave decision made in extraordinary circumstances. You're not alone here so hoping someone else with a bit more experience will chip in soon

xxx

Daisy1986 · 26/10/2011 21:22

My ex cheated and I broke up with him when I was 6 weeks pg although I was only with him for 18mnths so not quite the same. I left because I knew that no matter how hard I tried I wouldn't be happy with him and our relationship would never be strong enough to handel a baby in the mix.

You were right to leave, your trust would never have been rebuilt, you would have spent your life together wondering who he was with and your children would have lived in a very stressed environment. Not a great way for any of you to live.

Whilst its hard you must put your feelings aside and try and make sure to keep your DC relationship going with their father as once they have a break it will be even harder for them to deal with the situation.

Soon, although its hard at first you will enjoy being single there are many positives without the social stigma of young single mums. Surround your self with friends and family who can help when you need it accept all help offered you do not have a point to prove being on your own you dont have to be super woman.

DutchGirly · 26/10/2011 23:39

Shar I can understand you feel scared and lonely (and hormonal).

As you only have 1 week to go before birth, do you have a birthing partner? Do you want him to be at the birth?

You were right to leave him and believe me, life is a lot easier without the added stress of a cheating scumbag who treats you with so little respect. You're showing your DD that this kind of behaviour is unacceptable and that you deserve better.

Can you ask your midwife or health visitor to see if there are any single parents groups in your area?

Alternatively have a look at www.gingerbread.org

Make yourself a cup of tea and make sure you eat. Big hug.

brehon · 27/10/2011 20:41

Shar I phoned my exH 'thing' on the morning after my due date and told her if she was that desperate she could have him. I felt better after doing that as i could then focus on my other 2 children and myself. In one way it is easier to start on your own as the buck stops with you. You need to take care of yourself and your baby, don't think about him. Concentrate on what's important. I agree with DutchGirly, do you have someone to be with you at the birth? Just remember you were strong enough to come to your senses and do what was right for you and your children, you will be strong enough to cope. You should speak to your Midwife or health visitor about support if you feel you need it. There is help out there if you need it.

Good luck and health to you and your family. Look after yourselves.

Original poster
shar2012 · 27/10/2011 22:28

thank you everyone for your advice. I do have my sister as my birth partner and loads of family who help me and support me with my daughter but i am ashamed to tell them the real reason why my ex left. I am taking this a little hard because im madly in love with him and he just cant help but have he cake and eat it. Im feel empty inside an some part really wants things to go back to before finding out but i no it was a lie. I no i have to be strong for my daughter an unborn thats why im trying to carry on with life because i no it could only get better.

OP posts:
suburbophobe · 01/11/2011 23:47

You have to let this man walk and concentrate only on you and your child.

Soon you will forget all about him, because he has shown himself to be not worthy of you two.

I'm a single mum, my ex beat me at 6 months onwards and I am so glad I got out, my son is now 20, at university and I am happily independent too.

You don't need a man to live your life!

If I'd held on to that man both me and my son would have suffered immeasurably (sp?).

Treasure what you have, not what you lost.....

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