OP how old are your dc? Do you ever get a break (ie they go to their dad's)? Do you have someone who can babysit? If the answer to those last two is no (as it is for me) then it is very hard, until they get older. Even harder still if you are on a limited budget with no money to spare for fun/luxuries/sitters
For me I've simply found over the years that doing things for ds and myself to enjoy is the way to go and if we meet people along the way then great. But I gave up long ago trying to put myself out there or looking for a man.
ds is now 12 and I've only just started to turn the corner of getting out there a bit. And to do that I've joined a local lone parents group (4 years ago) that has a monthly meeting at which ds is welcome. Through that I've met a couple of nice people who we see more often and lots of people we see at the monthly meeting and other social stuff between who are in the same boat as me and understand the difficulties. ds also gets to meet other children in lone parent families so realises he's not the only one.
I went on a local MN meet up. Ok so it was just me and the organiser but if I hadn't of gone would she have bothered making the effort to organise another... Hopefully a few more people will make the next.
I have been away on lone parent holidays where I have met other lone parents who I now keep in touch with via email - a couple of who we are meeting up with in half term and going on an xmas party weekend with in November. One of those lone parents I first met here on MN and we met up a couple of times and then booked to go on holiday together with our dc!
Would add that it's only got to this point after being away a few times on lone parent holidays. Like everything you're not going to find like minded people right away but you will find some eventually.
I was chatting to one of the mum's at school yesterday and saying how we were going away on a xmas party weekend and that we also have a xmas party with the lone parent group coming up. She was saying how lovely to have a social life. And I though, you know she's right, I do have a social life of now!
Now this lady I was chatting to is a married lady with, as it seems to me, loads of friends to call on. So I thought right I'm going to text her and find out which evenings she isn't working and then invite her along with some other ladies I know from PTA, lone parent group, vague friend types who I've tried to organise things with before and nothing has come of it. So I'm going to book a table and ask them to join me and to bring a lovely lady friend if they know anyone else who would like to join us. Hopefully at least 1 person will turn up and join me... And any that can't make it I'm going to tell not to worry as I'm going to try and organise another in December! Because if I don't make the effort then who is going to for me...?
So when people say 'get out there' I think now that perhaps what they meant was be proactive.
I will add it's taken me 12 years to get this far, an increase in my work hours which means I have a little bit more money, ds being a bit more independant, as well as a fair few knock backs over the years.
When I have a bit more money to spare, and can leave ds on his own for an evening, I plan on joining spice
So don't expect miracles overnight. But if you stop looking for a partner and start off by finding a circle of friends and some kind of social interaction then maybe you'll realise that being happy matters more, and that you're not the only lonely person out there.
And once you feel happier in your own life, being on your own but less like billy no mates... then who knows...!