Jealous of ex's new partner

6 replies

nancysgirl · 18/12/2005 10:22

Can't decide if I'm being rational or not!! DD came back from her dad's yesterday full of stories about going to the pub (!) with daddy and (this being his new partner). I went mad with jealousy at the thought of the 2 of them parading around looking like the perfect family with MY DD!!!! The fact that I've never met this woman and that he swears she has nothing to do with DD just adds to my anguish. DD says that lives with daddy-he won't admit it. I cannot bear the thought of her going anywhere near my dd-the only contact I have had with this woman was an abusive phone call from her some months ago and then ex said he had finished with her because she was a psycho. Clearly he hasn't.

Am I just giong to have to get used to it? Does anyone else feel like me?

OP posts:

jinglinggoblin · 18/12/2005 10:56

sorry, but that is just part of splitting up. he will probably feel the same when you get a new partner. its important your dd doesnt know how you feel. i do understand why you feel like that tho, completely normal

Earlybird · 18/12/2005 12:30

Haven't experienced this myself, but the feelings of jealousy must be overwhelmingly hard to manage. It's probably even more painful because your ex (and his new partner) have been so deceptive/dishonest throughout.

Agree with jg, that you must do your best to keep your feelings hidden from your daughter. Also, make sure you don't pump her for information - though the impulse to do so must be impossibly strong. Going mad at your ex and his new partner will make you seem a psycho, so try to be calm and simply do what you can to ensure your dd is safe and well.

Caligyulea · 18/12/2005 12:37

It's very distressing to have to let your child into the orbit of someone you feel is unsuitable (or psycho! ), but yep, that's modern families for you. Nothing you can do about it, you just have to distance yourself from it, try and ignore it and not show any interest whatsoever. Eventually, they'll either split up and you'll have to go through the process again with a new model (sometimes several times) or you'll genuinely get used to it and it won't bother you as much.

SNOWaMANda · 18/12/2005 12:41

Afraid that like jinglinggoblin said it's part of being a single parent. It's not easy. I didn't like that fact that my dd was with ex-dp and his gf but there is little I could do about it. Thankfully she was not a psycho or that could have made things worse. If you are worried about her sanity then perhaps you should try to calmly speak with your ex. After all, he should have dd's welfare first and foremost in his mind, too.

It does get easier but it does take time.

Original poster

nancysgirl · 18/12/2005 23:46

That's the trouble-he doesn't have dd's welfare in mind at all-far from it! As long as he's getting what he wants then that's fine. No-one else's feelings or needs come into the equation at all. AS for him feeling the same when I meet someone(if!!), well again that won't bother him. He doesn't have enough of a bond or interest in DD for it to bother him. I don't think it would occur to him that another man would be interested in me anyway. I've got that many faults apparently.....

OP posts:

Nightynight · 19/12/2005 06:41

nancys girl - yes! according to my ex, Im to blame for everything that goes wrong. World War 3 will be my fault at this rate, and Im also crap at everything!

I think it is perfectly normal to be jealous. The only cure is to get a few admirers yourself.

Dx recently went mad when he thought that I had got a new man (I hadn't!). It was most satisfactory

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