introducing boyfriend to dd (nearly 3)

[Caththerese1973]

Hi
very recently (ie about 6 weeks ago) I met a guy I really like: it is evolving into what I think might become a "serious" thing.
I left my ex (dd's dad) 8 months ago. We were really incompatible in most respects....constant fights...not many interests in common: what a relief it is to interact with a man I can actually talk to! I was so lonely and now I'm not, and also have "adult" gratification back in my life (yay! I'm surprised to rediscover that I have a libido...thought it was gone forever)
Dd had not met my new boyfriend until last weekend - it was sort of "accidental". He came and stayed over and the plan was for him to take off before dd woke up, but we both fell asleep. Fortunately we did manage to wake up and get dressed before dd got up and so avoided having her stumble into the bedroom and find me in bed with a strange man. I told her that 'Paul was my friend and had dropped in early for a cup of tea!' Then I drove him home and dd and I hung around his place for a bit...he seemed very nice with her.
But I am anxious about "enforcing" new boyfriend on dd too abruptly. Up until the other day I only saw him one night a week when dd had access visit with ex, so I managed to keep the two things separate. Also I am a bit older than new bf (he is 27, I am 32) and he has no kids.
Any advice on how to negotiate things? He is a very nice man, and I'd like to spend more time with him, but am nervous about freaking out dd by bringing a different man into the situation too suddenly.

I had no physical contact with my boyfriend in front of my kids until about three months down the line. I wouldn't let him hold my hand or kiss me. You know your own child and the best i am sure, it is so hard to put it into general when each child is so different. I am lucky as my children don't get jealous about me as they are used to meeting new adults constantly.
If you are serious about each other there is know need to rush. Let everyone get to know each other slowly, TBH i still wouldn't let her see you share a bed for quite some time.
I talk to my sons constantly, ask questions and get there general feelings for my boyfriend. I ask them if it is ok that he is coming round or would they prefer no guests. Only a handful of times have they said he cant and i respect their decision. Afterall i would expect them to ask me if a guestof theirs was coming round.
I started inviting my boyfriend for sunday lunch when i realised it was serious. Thats how they all got to know each other. My children missed family meals and always complained there was nobody sat on the fourth chair so they were over the moon. I always make it special with christmas crackers and three courses. Then my boyfriend enjoys it just as much.
A year down the line my boyfriend stays over and my kids jump on top of him and we all have cuddles in bed.
You always have the tiny seed of doubt that your kids have fallen in love and it may not last. The worry that you have introduced them to a new man. But theres always doubts and worrys your not doing the right thing by your children whatever the circumstances.

Good luck, i hope he is a good man and takes care of yuo both.