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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Reactions to being a single parent

38 replies

LSAR · 03/09/2011 22:06

Everytime someone says where is your partner and I say he left us some people go owe thats so sad or twice they never really spoke to me again feeling that it was wrong and liked the child with husband circle. Has anyone else had any experiences like this or are you the person that believes you should be married first anyway?.

OP posts:
GossipWitch · 14/09/2011 22:47

Oh and then there is the new partner thing where your all out with each other and someone says something like "ooohhh don't you look like your daddy!" cue major embarrassment.

happybubblebrain · 14/09/2011 23:21

I haven't noticed anything, but then I never really was that socially acceptable - I think it's only a small clique who are anyway.

The only negative comments I've had in 4 years were from a woman at work who had forgotten that she herself was once a single parent, that was funny; and from a Jeremy Kyle reject who really didn't know any better. It really is just a case of stupidity and not worth worrying about.

GossipWitch · 15/09/2011 16:45

To be honest though these days I get more of " wow I really admire what your doing I could never do it" this was from a single mother who had a prick of a boyfriend for years and two children, and owns her own business, may I just add. I also had the "I really admire the fact that you manage to juggle house work,ds, ds' home work, work, and pets " from the manager of a pub resturant my reply "I really admire the fact you manage to juggle 15 members of staff, 8k a day, stock checks, and around 1000 customers a day. And the classic " you must really have some balls bringing up a child when you know the sperm donor wants nothing to do with him, I would have got rid!!"
"ohh a bit like how your kids father only sees your 2 once a fortnight for 1 night". [hmmm]

Bugsy2 · 15/09/2011 16:53

Anyone who cuts you because you are a lone parent wasn't worth knowing anyway. If ever I am asked, I say I'm divorced & then very quickly ask a question back & get them chatting. No one can ever resist chatting about their DS or DD, so if you ask a parent about their child you are pretty much guaranteed a bit of conversation!!!! Wink

catsmeow · 15/09/2011 22:23

I often volunteer that I am a single parent. I feel no shame, and I have never had any negative reactions. I think our family is as happy as any of the dual parent families we know, and happier than quite a few of them who have bad marriages. I think it really is all about how you feel about yourself and your situation... the trick is to feel confident, or at least fake it, and then people respond in kind. If anyone pitied me I would think they were an arse. I don't pity myself.

MaisieMama · 17/09/2011 23:27

Ladies I so needed to read this tonight. I'm recently separated and ex-DH lives in another country and I never know what to say when I'm asked about it. I'm SO much happier now and my DD is thriving - but I'm always met with puppy dog faces and pity when I mention it. I'm going to take a look at the way I present myself and join in the strong LP movement inspired by you are!

MissPricklePants · 18/09/2011 10:05

I have been a single parent for 2 years (dd was 16 weeks old when ex decided parenting was too hard) and i have had some strange reactions!the usual 'oh I am sorry' and 'thats a shame' to which I reply 'don't be, me and dd are very happy'. Oh and the nurse at the hospital asked my marital status when I had dd with me who then asked 'how do you support yourself?hope you arent scrounging benefits'. I am definately not ashamed of being a single parent and couldnt care less what people think about me!

susiedaisy · 18/09/2011 10:15

miss prickle is that really what the nurse said Shock how unprofessional!!!!

MissPricklePants · 18/09/2011 13:33

yeah she did!cheeky cow!i thought it was very unprofessional!told her it was none of her business.

GossipWitch · 18/09/2011 15:00

what an absolute cow, if you have to see said nurse again, and she makes such a rude comment again just point out that (if you are on benefits) you get the same cash from the same pot she gets her wages from, (and if not on benefits) that you are paying your taxes and therefore paying her wages and (in both cases) I'm sure her boss would like to hear how she is treating her patients!

MissPricklePants · 18/09/2011 15:09

i work part time but have had a period on income support when my maternity leave finished. I will def say something to her next time!i bet if i said i was a sahm with a partner she would not have had a problem!

GossipWitch · 19/09/2011 07:46

or married and a sahm, a peod tried to blame my sons possible AS on the fact I was a single mum, I changed to some one who might know what there talking about.

Dillydaydreaming · 19/09/2011 08:05

I avoid telling people I am a single parent at the same time as explaining DS has an ASD & ADHD.
No prizes for guessing what the more reactionary idiots think when they find this out.

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