He's taking me to court for a contact order, but not quite sure why??

[mummytowillow]

I'm sure you have read some of my other threads!!

My ex has just ruined what should have been a lovely birthday for our daughter. He and his family came up for the weekend, they had her all weekend, came to her party and had what I thought was good time!

He was taking her back to his parents for the week, he wanted to introduce his girlfriend to her (the one he had an affair with but denied it) and I wasn't happy with this. He initially wanted to take her to his flat, and throw her in at the deep end and spend the week with her and him

I obviously wasn't happy with this and we compromised that he would take her to his parents and introduce her at a later date. That was until he was driving down the motorway last night. He started texting me, saying he couldn't guarantee he wouldn't introduce her and I couldn't do anything about it, I said I wasn't happy with this. So he stopped at the services and told me to come and get her! I called his bluff and said fine but he would have to wait for me (she's 4 for god's sake)! He spent 20 minutes shouting down the phone at me and she heard it all. He was trying to make me agree to his demands, and it was like he was obsessed with her meeting my daughter?

He drives her to his parents, she cries all the way and wants to come back to me. He text me at 10 last night and told me to come and get her, as he couldn't cope with her as she was asking for me? So at 7am I had to do a 400 mile round trip, which took 8 hours to go and get her, I had to wangle the day off work to. He had ljust eft her with his parents and gone back to his girlfriend at his flat (a two hour drive away from his parents).

He has now told me he won't stand for her getting upset about leaving me, and he is taking me to court for a contact order. Just to clarify though, I have never ever stopped him from phoning or seeing her. He is the one who lets her down all the time saying he has to work on his weekends to have her. In the last 8 months he has seen her 4 times!

So, if he goes to court for a contact order, what will the process be? Do I need to get a solicitor as I haven't done anything wrong? Will she have to be interviewed etc? And what will the judge make me do or make him do? And how long is the order likely to take, as he is refusing all contact until it is arranged?

I think he is going to make himself look foolish as I've never stopped him seeing his daughter, I've even taken her down to see him! He is doing this to punish me as I'm not happy about her being thrown together with the OW?

I can't actually believe he is willing to go to court to make them put contact with his girlfriend in the order? And the fact he chose to leave his daughter this morning and go to his girlfriend, what a complete pig!

Any advice please?

Well done OP on recognising the feedback you had here - we all know it's hard to let your child go with someone we don't know, but children are damaged by the hostility in in a breakup rather than the actual breakup. Resident parents can't control what the other parent does, unless there are safety concerns so I don't feel you were right to try and control the situation.

It does take 2 to fight so try to be the person that doesn't cause anxiety to your daughter - it takes a grownup approach but you will be the better person for it. It's then likely that your ex will follow your lead and generally your parenting relationship will get better. That helps your daughter in the longterm

The impact on what happened to your daughter must be enormous and I guess she won't feel relaxed about meeting her dad again as she will associate it with stress and anger. If she refuses future contact it could be for those reasons.

I think a contact order is the way forward (it's not about him taking you to court it's about failing to communicate effectively so court is needed) having such a distance will be tough..Did the ex move away?