Where are all the single women in the UK..................?

[jmg1]

I have been single since my dp died three years ago.
I read somewhere that there are 1 in 3 single parent families in the UK, but where we used to live in Surrey there were 2 single parents (including me) out of the 60 children in the classes my kids were in.
I have since moved away and met some nice people but it is still a married persons World.
As a sinlge Dad I feel like a outcast who does not fit into society.
Where are all the women based?
Any single Dads out there feel the same?

I am a single mum and I guess my ex is a single dad since we split. I don't know any other single parents but I often think (and I hate to be pessimisitic here!) that is because we are quite young (ie, none of them have split yet). I am 24, my ex is 25. Few of our friends even have kids yet!

Actually I do know other single parents, my parents and many of their friends!

I do feel different from all my friends, but I kind of perversely relish my uniqueness! I would like to meet a new man but that is a whole other issue.

Have you got a Gingerbread near you? Or Oneplus (not sure if that is quite right)? You could probably meet some that way, or just wait a few years .

Oh and I am in Edinburgh.

No gingerbread here (not in the uk anymore) there was no gingerbread where we used to be either. have not heard about oneplus?
Fed up with being single but I think I am too fussy!

Well my DH was a single Dad to 2 boys when I met him 5 years ago. I (single, no kids) fell for him and the kids hook, line and sinker. We've been married for 2.5 years and we have a 3 year old DD, so there is hope !

There must be shed-loads of gorgeous Portugese (sp) Senoritas round your way, jmg ? You're a good looking guy from what I remember of a photo posted on here (you look like a my DH, actually), with what seems like a friendly and funny personality, you should be beating them off with a big stick !

(BTW, shouldn't this thread be renamed 'Where are all the single women in Portugal ?' ?!)

I am definitely too fussy, have met a few nice guys recently but have no interest. Grrrr. Read a scary article today about how if you are too attached to your last partner then there are actually chemicals released in your brain that stop you really liking anyone else... don't think I am that attached but scared me all the same! Probably scared you too now, sorry!

Where are you now? Is there nothing nearby?

Ah ha, question answered!

lol

ndp, most Portuguese stay married + here there are two seperate worlds: the expats and the Portuguese. I have lost count of how many people have said i should be beating them off with a stick! where are they all?

weesaidie, we are in Portugal (as you have probably just noticed)

I am wandering whether to return to uk and keep this place as a holiday home and bring the kids here for 3 or 4 months each year.

I do think you get fussier when you are a single parent, as it isn't just about you ifywim!

Although I was out on "a date" on Saturday night, but I wasn't that keen

How are you doing btw?

Weesaidie - scary thought!!

aimsmum, not too good at the moment, last week was 3 years exactly since dp died and starting to wander if you can ever get over it. Have kind of given up on it here but perhaps haven't really given it a good chance.
How are you?

Yep you are fussy jmg btw nice to see you posting
How are your little babes enjoying their new place?

The only thing I can suggest (and am not sure that it is applicable - you being in Portugal and all.But you never know)
Throw yourself (and the kids when poss) into every conceivable thing you enjoy recreation wise - I do not mean sex, drugs and rock and roll either
Then surely something has to crop up eventually.
I met mine at a rugby match after all, I am full of faith
mind you, you're a chelsea fan

Piffle/Jane xxxxxxxxxx

ps whats your new email?

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low, the anniversary must have been very hard for you.

Single mums feel like outcasts too, I can assure you! That hideous feeling of being the only person without a spouse at prizegiving, carol services, sports day etc means that I run like the wind when the main business is over and everyone else gossips over tea and biscuits, probably confirming everyone's suspicions that I am a snobby freak.

How old are your children? Can you get involved in clubs/coaching footie or whatever? Do they go to a local school or one for expats?

piffle, the kids are fine, at their age moving is not a problem. I just have to get settled before they are much older.

Turquoise, my kids are dd 4, dd 5 and ds 6. ds is getting into footie. The school is an international school with a portuguese school on the same premises. There is another international school much nearer to where we live and the kids there are about 99% uk. The parents from this school seem to be more social with each other.

Talking about gossip, I feel like the algarve is the center of the gossip universe.
Where ds plays footie on saturday the coach is an ex navy and from middlesborough, he called me last friday evening to ask if I could take the session as he was involved in charity golf event, I have never done anything like that, but I did it and was fun.

jmg...have you been away from MN for ages???

md, yes, but I was on briefly a few weeks ago.

Sorry to hear you're not doing too good at the moment. But from what you have said this must be a hard time of year for you anyway.

How long have you been out there for now? Do you think you should give it a bit longer before you decide?

The football thing sounds 2quite promising. Is there anyway you could get involved in the type of courses you were looking into here just before you left?

We're doing OK thanks

Only been here for 4 months but have a strong gut feeling that its really a place for holidays or for married expats to live as opposed to single parent ex pats. There must be some places in the uk with more single parents than where we were in Surrey.

piffle, still have the same email, just cat me if you have lost it.

Hi jmg1, I wondered where you'd got to
How's the new life in Portugal going?

Phone up gingerbread or one plus and ask where in the country they have the most members!

Seriously though, give it until after christmas at least and see how things go. Could it be that it is just the time of year getting you down at the moment rather than the place?

Hmmm - it's a tricky one for single parents. I imagine that most single women who see you with your kids will assume you have a partner. I think most people assume I have a partner - and I don't quite know how to say I'm available without sounding desperate!

Do you have time away from your kids, and if so, what do you do? Do you have time for any hobbies? Whenever I've asked the same question as you pose, it seems that most "mature" couples meet via work, friends or mutual interests/hobbies. It rarely seems to be spontaneous or random.

It is hard to deal with anniversaries of loss, and I'm sorry that it's so painful for you. While I haven't suffered the same type loss as you, I am finding that I notice less/it hurts less the more years that pass, and the more I live a new/different life. In a sense, it's about creating a new history for yourself since the loss.

Best of luck, and let us know if you find any surefire ways of meeting single/available people that don't involve the internet, singles groups or dating agencies!

lmb, I was feeling much better here, until recently.

eb, I feel it is harder for single Dads, at least single mums can hang out with married mums. Do you agree or I am mistaken. Bear in mind I also have no living (close) family other than my kids. I keep fit but am not into gyms. Due to the nature of my business I don't meet people through work, I have met a few single women here but was not keen and I don't think there are any others. Maybe I should wait till the summer and eagerly pace up and down the beach , infact why don't you come and we can do it together

ts quite a small World here
aimsmum, you could be right.