splitting up

[daisychainsaws]

• have posted this in legal, but hope it's ok to post here too -

It looks like my relationship is at an end.

We have a young baby and I'm worried about what to do now. We live about 2 hours apart (job / family circumstances) so housing is not an issue; I'm renting and he owns a house. Our DD lives with me.

I work and our baby is looked after by a combination of a childminder and my family.

He is a volatile person and I've probably stayed in the relationship as I'm worried about what will happen when we split. He's made threats to me but I think he knows that if he follows through then access will be difficult and he doesn't want to lose her.

He loves his DD, and I don't want to stop him seeing her but I don't trust him to have her overnight - in 7 months not once has he got up with her in the night {largely due to his drinking}.

What should I do now to make this situation the best it can be?

First stop for me when me and ex split was the CAB who might start to give you an idea about what happens next.

I would guess (and it is a guess - I'm no legal expert) that at 7 months your dd would be a little young for overnight. My ds has just turned 2 and overnights with dad haven't started for him yet. If the drinking is a major problem you may be worried about his ability to look after a baby overnight.

Could you suggest just daytime contact to begin with - every week if possible as it will need to be quite regular if he is to maintain a relationship with a baby.

Are you going to try and arrange contact between yourselves or will you use mediation or solicitors to help?