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Lone parents

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Original poster

Anxiety attacks - help

13 replies

bunsandroses · 23/05/2011 14:47

I have one DS, 2.3 and have been an LP for about a year. I am just feeling totally exhausted and when Ds spends a weekend with his dad I find it hard to relax and feel constantly tense. I even find it hard to sleep although I am craving uninterrupted sleep
I am not collecting DS till tomorrow and had decided to just have a day to myself today but I have just had an overwhelming sense of panic and sadness and loneliness. I feel guilty for not working, doing housework etc but equally have very low energy levels.
I have just had a chat with my dad, who has just had to deal with me a blubbering mess, and he thinks I should go to the doctor to see if I should take something. I am guessing that he means ADs but I don't think I am depressed just a bit overwrought.
Does anyone else ever feel like this? What are your coping techniques?

Any tips gratefully received!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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cestlavielife · 23/05/2011 14:48

go to therpay - it really heps ask GP for counselling or go on a separtion/divorce workshops eg www.drw.org.uk

carlywurly · 23/05/2011 15:41

I've just had a weekend like this! I've had the dc's for 3 out of 4 weekends and have no family support (they live too far away) plus I have them all week too as their father works away. I feel like my energy reserves are drained at the moment, my thinking is all foggy.

I know I'm not depressed either, but I don't know what the answer is. I find regular exercise really helps, I run a lot. I also do courses and lots of activities I enjoy, and see friends. It all seems to help temporarily and then I'm back to being shattered again.

Will watch this to see if others have suggestions. I often think it's the responsibility of having the dc's 95% of the time which is very wearing, plus them being small and at a very demanding stage. It is relentless!

Original poster

bunsandroses · 23/05/2011 19:23

thanks cestlavie for link, I will check it out.
Carlywurly, I think it's probably hard to turn off when you are so atuned to having DC around, and having to do everything. I also find that doing things and seeing people does energise me, to a degree, but then trying to sleep, or when I have time on my own, I just feel all tense and kind of clenched.
I have a feeling that as Ds gets older things will kind of become, at least physically easier. I think it's 99% fatigue but just need a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.

OP posts:

malinkey · 23/05/2011 22:15

buns - this website is useful for learning about and dealing with anxiety. Might be worth a look. Also have you ever tried doing relaxation exercises before you go to bed? There are plenty of CDs available that can help you with this and might help you lose some of that clenched feeling.

Good luck.

carlywurly · 24/05/2011 16:04

Oh I totally identify with the clenched feeling. I hold it all in my shoulders and jaw. I find it takes several days to relax, and that's a luxury I don't often have!

equinox · 24/05/2011 17:49

I had a small phase of panic attacks a few months ago and went to see a homoeopath it was such a worry getting pains in the chest with it and I had two attacks one of which was out in the car - not nice!

I do hope you get it sorted. Mine was a very odd perimenopausal phase it got so much better through the remedies although seeing a homoeopath is invariably pricey they sometimes do concessionary rates if they feel sorry for you?!

Good luck!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 24/05/2011 17:52

I doubt I will help much, but I suffer anxiety/panic attacks and I am married with 4 kids if it is relevant?
It feels for me, like my heart has risen into my throat and is beating there, it's awful. They seem to come unexpectedly, even when I am not doing/thinking about anything stressful, then they might go away for a few months, but they come back.

I find taking Kalms tablets helps a lot, though it may be a placebo? I don't know.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 24/05/2011 17:53

Ooh yes and what Equinox said, a couple of months ago they had escalated to a sharp stabbing pain in the side of my ribs which was crippling and I would have to lie down and do deep breathing (which hurt) till it passed.

petitfromage · 24/05/2011 21:42

Same thing has recently happened to me, panic attacks for no apparent reason and scarily I've started fainting quite a lot as well which is just horrid (and makes me feel like crap as poor little 3 yr old DS has been with me twice when it has happened, not nice at all). I was summoned to the Dr yesterday and she wants to put me on Ads but I'm not depressed! Knackered, a bit fed up occasionally, pretty stressed but happy with my lot most of the time so don't really know why she thinks I need them.
Although the more I think about it the more I start worrying about fainting...

Original poster

bunsandroses · 25/05/2011 14:29

Thanks all. Petitfromage, have you been to the doctor about fainting, that sounds extreme and scary.
Lady, I am going to try Kalms, even if it is just a placebo, who cares!
I had to drive to pick up my son on Tuesday and had panic attack driving along motorway. It's like I am talking to myself rationally but my heart is racing, totally in my throat. Also having nightmares, when finally getting to sleep.
I've got a doc appt tomorrow so hopefully they will give me some tips. I think I would rather try an alternative therapy if they are going to put me on ADs.

OP posts:

petitfromage · 25/05/2011 20:59

I fainted at the docs and in hosp having a check up so they have me firmly on their radar now - both v embarrassing and worrying, especially as I'm a LP and had my 3yo ds with me. Had to get us both home afterwards feeling like absolute shit, not fun.
Might try the meds they are recommending even thoug it's Ads as I don't want this to happen again.

bacon · 28/05/2011 10:00

After my first husband left me I had terrible anxiety, sounds the same as I had. Even though I didnt have any children at the time. I was so bad, I was terrified of the future, I didnt enjoy friends, I'd lost my best friend and my future felt scary.

The worse thing you can take is AD for anxiety, it made mine worse - anxiety is unease on the future, while depression is on the past. ADs are better for depression. ADs are only temporary relief and you read so many stories of women living on them. Unfortunately GPs are clueless to anxiety and the first thing they do is prescribe a pill. In lots of cases just time, cognative therepy and making some positive life changes.

Cognative therepy is excellent. You could ask the GP to be refered for this type of therapy or pay yourself (£25 per session). Get some books (not the self help rubbish ones). Some like the problem I had - I had to reinvent my life. Plan the days, get new hobbies and do something I enjoyed. I havent had an attack for years but I do feel like it lerking.

Its horrible but only you can make it better - you have to control your brain not the other way around.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 28/05/2011 12:18

Another one here who recommends attending the DRW (divorce recovery workshop)

it's brilliant!

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