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Original poster

Funny incident with OW

23 replies

onlyone · 07/05/2011 07:47

I have had a crap year but finally things are atarting to move in a direction that feels more positive and yesterday I laughed properly for the first time in a year.

My EXH who is shagging OW, who still lives with her DH and her two kids but will of course one day leave him, and the two true loves of the century will be together and the world will finally get what they are about etc etc etc refused to move out of our home.

So I and the two DCs ( one disabled) have moved out. However, alot of stuff still in our house which we jointly own and we have come to no agreement about anything as he refuses to talk to me about anything. I still have keys and let myself in with DCs if he is having them and not home yet, easier than sitting on doorstep with disabled DC and he wants this and suggested the arrangement.

Realised I needed a drill to fix some stuff in new house so I went round to the house and let myself in. Picked up kids toys etc on the floor and went to get drill and bits that I needed. EXH went away on business trip at lunchtime.

Heard a noise and there at the top of the stairs was OW in all her naked glory, screaming blue murder that this was not my house, I could not come in and EXH would kill me etc etc.

I laughed so hard it was hilarious. She was screwed obviously both literally and figuratively! Told her to get dressed and run back to her DH and kids and stop claiming my property as hers. The air was blue with her vitriol.

Sad, but I am smiling now as I write this, her face was a picture.....

OP posts:
beaconhouse · 07/05/2011 10:43

hi
what a nightmare...can imagine the air was blue!!!
Glad you can smile about it now but must be rather awful to confront all that.
still you are moving onto better things and wish you well with the drill and diy etc x

kc0rns1lk · 07/05/2011 10:46

what was she doing in your house!Shock

GypsyMoth · 07/05/2011 10:47

why was she there....and naked....if your ex was away???

did she have another fella up there??

GeekLove · 07/05/2011 10:47

I swear you could hear the thrrrrrrppp of ego deflating as you laughed at her!
Serves her right.

ChippingIn · 07/05/2011 11:05

I presume they'd had a shagging session before he went away and she stayed in bed - not really a problem normally is it....

.... only when his ex has a key & lets herself in willy nilly!

I'm glad you stayed calm & told her to get dressed and go home to her DH & kids!!

I would have loved to have seen her face Grin

... mind you I would have said - 'Oh - didn't realise you were here. Your DH has been looking for you, I'll text him & let him know....byeeeeeeee'

hairylights · 07/05/2011 11:10

You haven't sorted out appropriate ground rules. What would have happened if you had gone over with your dc and been faced with her naked at dads house? It's his home... Albeit that you jointly own it ... You need to sort this out ASAP.

Original poster
onlyone · 07/05/2011 11:51

I know we need ground rules but he had told me he was away from midday and this was 1400 - so really did not expect her to be there and I doubt he expected her to have lazed in bed whilst he was not there.

It was hilarious, well for me anyway and after all the crap that the dear woman, ex friend has heaped on me this year, it was a small victory for decency and dignity!

Remember this is not her home, she lives full time with her DH and two kids working on their relationship and trying to make things better - ha ha.

I just wish I had been quick enough to get my phone out and snap her!!

OP posts:
hairylights · 07/05/2011 12:12

I realise it can't have been a pleasant thing to see. but his business (and misbehaviour) is now none of yours, as you have seperated.

It's unclear from your posts whether you are moving quickly towards legal separation of finances and property - can I suggest you do so urgently as he's refusing to deal with it between the two of you?

I hope you are able to feel a little bit more at ease with the separation soon.

pickyourbrain · 07/05/2011 13:28

Hilarious and definitely onlyone: 1, OW:0 !!!

But I have to say, I can see why she was annoyed, she may have though tyou were a burgaler as I bet your ex forgot to tell her he told you you could come round.

I'd have to let slip to her husband if I were you... i know its naughty.

Original poster
onlyone · 07/05/2011 14:07

this is a woman who is such a consummate liar, I am not sure she knows truth from reality -so to have her on the back foot was so cathartic.

To give you an idea, she has accused me of just about every evil thing under the sun, including sending her an evil text at the time I was under GA having an operation on my spine. Convinced EXH that I had done this and no matter him knowing I was in hospital, he took me there, had the DCs and was waiting by my bed when I woke up - he believed her. I have abusesd my children by going out to work and not giving DS a bath everyday is neglect. I have broken into her e mail and sent messages to her numerous ex partners. I have allegedly sat outside her house all day and followed her, sent shit in a box to her in the post etc etc. i can assure you none of the above I have done, bar not bathing DS everyday when he has fallen asleep early and dead to the world, yes I do undress him and pop him into bed and he usually has a shower in the am anyway.

For her to say it was their house now and she owned it with EXH is laughable, not unless she has paid me my equity and she still lives with her DH...

I am in a good place and know where I am going with the DCs, the best thing I did was see a counsellor and set targets - other than the weight loss I am on target, focussed and so much more in control of my life. The affair will always hurt, this was one of my best friends and my DH -nothing will make that ever feel nice, the deceit and lies from two people I trusted will take a long time to settle but as each day passes, I care less and less about the mess they make as long as my DCs and to be fair her DCs do not suffer. None of them deserve to suffer because of the lunacy of one of their parents.

She does have enormous boobs though!!

OP posts:
hairylights · 07/05/2011 14:10

Additional info very useful!

Sounds like they deserve each other. I would urge you to get your equity sorted out ASAP!

Does her husband know about what's going on?

Original poster
onlyone · 07/05/2011 14:32

She and he are going to counselling as apparently she wants to stay with him and make it work but at the same time is seeing EXH and telling him they will be riding off into the sunset to a better life.

So her DH thinks things are getting better between them and he is happy with progress, yet she tells my EXH that he abuses her etc etc and life is shit but this has been going on for over a year now and she still has not moved out and left him. This includes my EXH paying for a rental for six months for her to move into, which stood empty as she did not leave her DH - all complicated and me growing away from it every day.

Two men living in a world of lies and deceit and I am just sorry my DCs have to be exposed to it, I can step away and am doing it more by the day.

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 07/05/2011 14:39

I so would have said that her DH was looking for her and I'd let him know I'd found her Grin

You're too nice :)

It's laughable that she now 'owns' the house with your Ex - you should have asked her if her DH had gone guarantor on their new mortgage and where your equity has been banked Grin

Allalone0 · 08/05/2011 11:42

Reading through this, even if OP had her child with her when she came into HER OWN home, IMO Op would not be responsible for 'running into' a naked woman!
If the OW did think that OP was a burglar, wouldn't she have at least tried to grab a sheet to put around herself rather than standing there butt naked???

How dare the cheating husband and OW do it in OP's home, The audacity!!!!

They both deserve each other.

stardust86 · 08/05/2011 13:37

Now that would have been a great YouTube moment! I bet the memory keeps a smile on your face for quite a while :-)

Original poster
onlyone · 08/05/2011 14:46

Still smiling today!!

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 08/05/2011 14:51

Have you heard anything from your EXH yet?

Original poster
onlyone · 08/05/2011 23:18

Lot of bluster but at the end of the day I could tell he found it funny but was putting on an act for OW.

I queried who owned the house and got told she never said what she did - I was making it up - like I said this woman could win a gold medal in lying, problme is I think she actually believes she is telling the truth.

Did not tell me to go round and as we had agreed I would call him before going round and I had done on said day at 0900 but plans obviously changed for him!!

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 09/05/2011 07:11

Grin @ ExH

How he thinks she can always be honest is beyond me, she's screwing your ExH while still married to her H - it really doesn't take a genius to work out she's a liar! Wink

zsazsa123 · 11/05/2011 18:40

onlyone , you are really dealing with this situation brilliantly , my dh has been having a "texting affair" with ow and , hes denied all the messages email etc as has the ow , ive put up with this for ages now and am at the end of my rope with it now , hope i can be as brave as you and move forward so well xx

Original poster
onlyone · 11/05/2011 19:02

Nothing brave zsazsa!!

It has taken a year for me to get strong and move forward, I can recommend a counsellor - he made me set goals and I worked to them aswell as talking through issues that arose and there have been numerous. He taught me to let go and whilst I will always have a soft spot for EXH - hell we had some good times and two gorgeous DCs -despite what he says, I know I can move on.

Good Luck - the lying is what I hated even when it was so obvious they were both lying. If they want to be together then go but do not lie.

OP posts:
zsazsa123 · 12/05/2011 19:08

was thinking of going to see a counsellor dont know if its for me or not , i never thought i would think of seeing a counsellor but i do need some help to clear my head ,i dont think i have any feelings left for my dh , we did too have some nice times and a lovely daughter . but im just so disgusted in the way he has treated me ive lost all regard for him now , i hated the lies too , i hate the way these people will insult yr intelligence with blatant lies !!

Original poster
onlyone · 13/05/2011 20:32

zsazsa - go and see a counsellor.

If half my friends knew I had seen one they would laugh. I huge balls and then some and most people think I am a hard nosed bitch but underneath the facade was a very sad, lonely, hurting person - you have feelings aswell.

I would never have considered myself a counselling person but the questions you have in your head are the ones they answer with neutrality and a clarity that you can not see. They will not let you wander from the point in hand. Well worth the money.

OP posts:
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