Super Dad Strikes AGAIN!

[farkthatforagameofsoldiers]

Dc out with ex today.

They return loaded down with bags and bags of toys and sweets, happy as anything.

I go out to the gym while he looks after them. I return and they have been out and bought two fucking guinea pigs and a massive fucking cage. Yes we live in a flat with NO outdoor space and also already have a dog and fish.

So this is what my kids see. Super Dad turning up and doing fantastic stuff with them, taking them on great holidays and saying yes to FUCKING EVERYTHING THEY SO MUCH AS WHISPER A REQUEST FOR! Then there is me with no fucking money and a sour face because now I have two guinea pigs to care for as well as two kids, a dog, two fish and myself.

I cried my eyes out after he went. I just cant compete with it and my eldest child is ASD and loves "stuff". I know if he had his choice he would live with his Dad in a second, his cheating, abusive, alcoholic Dad, certainly not his shouty, tired, no money Mum.

FFS!!!!!!!!

Oh and I left that fucker because he was drunk every night and shagging anything he could get his hands on only for him to sort himself out and turn it all around. My dc will never know what went on because I protected them from it and they are only ever going to see jovial, generous Dad compared to miserable, skint Mum.

Its not FAIR! wah wah wah etc

don't worry, they will understand he's buying their love/affection - know it doesn't help you now, but waht good is a shed load of stuff when all they want is a hug? or in 20 years time when they see who was there & who wasn't.?

Tell the children it's a great present and how nice that daddy will allow them to have the guinea pigs IN HIS HOUSE, and that they can take them there on the next visit. Tell ex he has accidentally left his guinea pigs at yours but they will be taken to his place pronto. If this is an issue, you will let the kids know that daddy unfortunately changed his mind and the guinea pigs will be returned to the shop. Nobody can force animals on you, they're a big responsibility, not just financially.

Or would sending them to ex be nasty on the guinea pigs?

He cant have them, he lives in a shared house, no pets. Kids love them, honestly I would feel awful to send them back. Not just one guinea pig, OH NO! apparently they need a companion. They are really sweet but my heart is sinking at the cage cleaning etc that is now going to be required. They also need exercise too, how he hell am I going to exercise two guinea pigs in a flat?

do you have a friend that the piggies can go to?

That way, your DC can visit them.

BTW, you're right, he's an enormous arse. Foisting two guineas on you when you have loads of other stuff to deal with in the confines of a flat is just shit.

In fact, it could be seen as so shit that it borders on abuse. Thoughtless twat of an ex you have there.

no way.
I just wouldn't accept this (but then there is no way my ex would do it, and no way my kids would imagine that it would ever be acceptable).
If he didn't take the guinea pigs away with him when he left, then I would be returning them to the shop in the morning.
I simply wouldn't allow someone who was no longer part of my (as opposed to the kids) life to bring live creatures into my home.

I'd tell the kids the dog is likely to eat them if they stay. Dear Daddy will have to keep them at his or find a friend who can. I'd pop an ad on gumtree and tell the man if they aren't out by midday tomorrow they are being collected by someone else. If the man protests I'd ask to see the annual vet insurance subscription and monthl direct debit to my account for their grub. Oh and a lifetime subsrciption of air freshener for my living room.

Sorry on this one I'd have to be mean mama and live with the resultant asd meltdown. I'm also a flat dweller. Noone wants to really grow up in a zoo. You already provide a pet for the kids so that part of their upbringing is catered for.

Don't get upset - you'll discover once your kids are adults how much the asd child especially appreciated the stability, clear boundaries and consistency you provide. Kids can make friends in the school yard, daddy is falling into the friendhip and buying affection trap. The sheer immaturity of buying 2 animals for someone else to take responsibility for beggars belief.

Parents and the boring slog parts of being a good parent is what they can't source elsewhere. "wonder dad" isn't so wonderful on that front. I have no desire to be my sons "best friend", I'm his Mum, a much more important role.

You are not doing your dcs any favours either by rolling over and accepting this.
Do what others have suggested and present it the kids as how exciting that both thier houses have pets in now and isn't that great!
Inform ex that he will be having them and just hand them over to him to be the baddie for a change.
The kids will understand that the dogs will eat them so best place for them is dads house.

Take the piggies back! They need a garden for a start.

He's an arse.