Xp is out tonight for the 3rd time in week. I last went on a night out in June

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

I would quite like to cry.

I had a mate over for take-out last night, but having all of the kids here, it was a bit hard to have a proper convo, even though the kids were good and did play upstairs alot.

Even if i had childcare, i couldn't afford to go out 3 times in a week, and i am working, xp isn't.

It's all a big fat joke.

It's really hard isn't it,i'm the same,can't remember when i last went out,my ex on the other hand goes out loads.

I think you just have to think that he has his priorities all wrong,you have a different life to him.

Try to arrange a night out for yourself,maybe once a month if you can afford it,it will do you good and give you something to look forwards to and hopefully help you not to feel as resentful of your ex.

Is he stopping you from going out?

I mean is he refusing to have the children over night? What are your childcare arrangements between the two of you? Sorry the above post came out wrong.

He used to have all 3 overnight, but due to his refusal to do anything with them other than plonk them infront of a tv, and the fact he is a miserable git, dd1 and 2 stopped going, and then last month ds also stopped going.

Being a lone parent with little money or support can suck.....I last went out beginning of February and my last child-free evening/overnight was July 2009....must sort my life out .

Unfortunately it's similar for most of us single parents. I'm lucky as I have my mum nearby but even so I probably only go out an average of once a month. The last time was the 25th of March so that was over a month ago. Didn't even go out for my birthday last week- just had some mates over for a takeaway. However, my ex goes out all the time even though he pleads poverty and hasn't paid maintenance since January!!

What you need to think about is what is more important, being with your children or loads of boozy nights out?? Whilst nights out may be fun, they are transiant but what you have with your children is real and will last forever. You are being the grown up here and the one your children can rely on and they will love you all the more for it.

I stayed in on my 30th birthday if that's any consellation to you!
It bites being in all the time. I'd really like to do a night course so I can get onto teaching next year, but I have no one to look after dd so Im having to do it the expensive route :(

My xp on the other hand is out as much as possible even though he blames me for being skint due to CSA payments.

You need to buy a 3 sleeper futon bunkbed. the initial outlay will be between £50 and £100 (second hand).

But this has it's own benefit.

because then, you see, you can Come To An Arrangement with a friend. The children can sleep over at yours, as you will look after them. next time, the children will sleep over at yours, and she will look after them. you can then go and sleep in her unoccupied house for the night (take your own bedding).

This has the benefit of safe babysitting with no cost. You will only need your beer money.