Is it normal to feel resentful of the dc's dad?

6 replies

bugbaby · 22/04/2011 11:02

Because i really do!

I have one dd (12 months) and have been a lp for 4 months. Currently i just feel so resentful of my ex.

He doesn't pay me any child maitenence, mainly because he is on a very low wage so i am slightly better off than him. The arrangement was that he would help me pay for things like clothes/shoes/birthday presents but so far i have had nothing.

Also he still treats my house like his home; napping on my bed, going for showers and eating my food.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? I think it is partly because i am a new lp so i haven't quite got used to it yet and possibly have unreal expectations.

Please feel free to give me a kick up the bum if i need it!

OP posts:

boxingHelena · 22/04/2011 11:35

well... I think is him that needs a kick up his lazy bum!
It is ok not to get any money he hasnt got any (many of us are in the same boat) but why do you have him around as a guest!?

CarGirl · 22/04/2011 11:41

Just get him to pay child maintenance even if £5 per week minimum - look at the CSA calculator.

If he wants to see his dc then he needs to take them out!!!! Not you feed him etc - why on earth is he napping in your home when he should be spending time with his dc?

Absolutely no showers or feeding - be careful as it may look to others that he still lives there and you're not seperated at all.

You need boundaries asap.

stardust86 · 30/04/2011 19:19

Agree with Cargirl, if he sees the baby he should take the LO to his own place or out for the day, you'll never get a break otherwise and it's unfair to have to put up with him.

It's normal to hate the ex with a vengeance, it takes the patience of a saint to put up with them like this. Ditch the halo and put your foot down, for your own sanity.

cestlavielife · 30/04/2011 20:26

why is he in your house at all?

decide from today he doesnt come over the threshold. he picks up DS on doorstep. til he shows he can treat you and your place with respect.

Meglet · 30/04/2011 20:33

I'd kick him out for starters.

Please don't tell me he is going out on the piss with his mates then crashing at your house?!

Spero · 30/04/2011 20:34

Of course it is normal. I simply don't believe people who claim that everything is groovey with their ex and they are such good friends. Why did you split up then?

But your situation is quite extreme. He is taking the piss big time and it has to stop NOW or your resentment, which is quite natural and normal, will get bigger and bigger and may interfer with your emotional health.

He should NOT eat your food. He doesn't contribute anything, so how dare he. If he won't contribute voluntarily then pursue him thru the CSA or CMEC or whatever it is called now. If he can't help with feeding and clothing his own child, he should have thought about that before making a baby.

He sounds a complete bellend.

Flip