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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Lugging everything to the hospital to give birth

21 replies

Darlingdamsel · 21/04/2011 21:37

I am now comfortably in my third trimester and did the hospital tour this week. It occured to me, how do I lug everything that I have to bring, including a infant car seat, to the delivery ward while having contractions? I will have to get a cab to the hospital as I am in Central London and don't drive, so I can't just load the car ...

Has anyone given bith by themselves and how did you handle this? And I don't want to ask friends to have to come to the hosptial and bring my stuff with them. If I feel up to having my friends come, then I would like to have that as a choice and not because I need them.

Ideas?

OP posts:

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PrinceHumperdink · 21/04/2011 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 21/04/2011 21:42

I wouldn't take the car seat. If you use a black cab, you can just roll the pram straight in. Take the pram, pile everything else into it, job done :)

StuffedOlive · 22/04/2011 00:02

I pared everything down. No car seat, no pushchair. Sling, on the bus, job done. Just a small overnight bag as I was out next day.

thisisyesterday · 22/04/2011 00:05

is there no-one at all who will be visiting you that could bring stuff? family maybe?

BertieBotts · 22/04/2011 10:28

stuffedolive, ouch! Not sure I could have managed a bus TBH... I expect it depends what kind of birth you have.

strawberrymewmew · 22/04/2011 10:34

In the hospitals around here they will not let you leave the hospital with the baby unless you have a car seat. OP is this the same situation where you are?

countrybump · 22/04/2011 10:34

I'd ask the cab driver to help you carry your bags and car seat. Then, when in hospital ask if they can help you if you have to move rooms etc?

BertieBotts · 22/04/2011 11:23

Strawberry, everyone seems to say that - long threads about it periodically. Seems to be an urban legend in practice though. If you're leaving hospital by taxi, bus, or walking, you don't technically need one. In any case they can't stop you from leaving or taking your own baby home, they don't have the power to do that.

strawberrymewmew · 22/04/2011 11:28

Hmm, even the midwifes have said that to me.
I've been getting a bit mad about it because I don't have a car.
Apologies.

BertieBotts · 22/04/2011 11:30

Well don't panic :) at least you know you don't technically need one! Car seat is handy to have though, if you get lifts anywhere ever.

strawberrymewmew · 22/04/2011 11:44

We're going to have one anyway as the pram we are getting has one with it. :)
I was just a bit pissed off at the feeling like I was being bullied into buying something I might never use. (I live less than half a mile from the hospital)
Thanks for the info though. :)

ploddingalongnicely · 22/04/2011 21:52

I did it alone too, and also got told the same thing about not being able to leave without a car seat.

I got a suitcase on wheels(ones with the long handle) and on the way in i just balanced the car seat on the suitcase and waddled in, it was however the longest walk i have ever done from the taxi to the maternity ward but soon as they see you coming they take it from you. I even had a stranger see me struggling and offered to help but i had visions of them running off the the suitcase!!

everyspring · 22/04/2011 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

juneau · 22/04/2011 22:01

I'm sure your friends would be happy to bring anything you need - I know I would be. IME people love to rally round when there's a baby involved, so I'd say don't be ashamed to ask. It's lovely to be self-sufficient and know you 'can' do it alone, but you don't have to be so brave!

ZhenXiang · 22/04/2011 22:09

A lot of cab companies have infant car seats, you could phone companies local to the hospital in advance to check if they do and then take a cab home. I would have found bus a bit much after giving birth. Wheelie case for the rest (cab man can help you take it to the car), you don't need lots I had CS and was only in for 2 days so didn't even use half the stuff I took.

Loobyloo1902 · 23/04/2011 21:21

Hi Damsel,

Now I'm going to be a terrible nag but please do consider relying on your friends a bit more if you can. If god forbid, you have a c-section, you won't be carrying anything out of that hospital, no car seat, no suitcase, not a sausage. I speak from experience as a single mum who had a c-section a few weeks ago and frankly I can't do a darn thing because I'll do all kinds of unmentionables to the wound. I think you have a one in four chance of a c-section so it's a real possibility.

You sound wonderfully independent and resourceful but please, I would beg you to call folk up and let them help you, take you to hospital, cook you meals, put the hoover round and visit you post labour.

end of nagging, but please do have a think about it. I would come and put the hoover round for you if I physically could!

Original poster

Darlingdamsel · 24/04/2011 07:39

GHi uys

Thanks for all of the kind comments. I will definitely look into the cab companies and see if they have car seats. Somehow though I don't think I am hardcoare enough to try to get a bus home afterwards!! Wow.

And for those - regardless of my comment above - still want to advocate friends to this for me. While I knw you mean well, its slightly annoying that i have to come in and justify why I don't want to do this? If I want to or even have to, I will ... and I am sure they will also be happy to help. But for me this is an intensely private expereince. I would like to find a way to not have to involve them unlesss I want to. Sorry if that is difficult to understand. I have to say that as a lone parent you are constantly faced with things that peolple think you 'should' do .... at the end of the day, we all have to get through this in the way that makes us feel most comfortable. The comments instead of being helpful, I find a bit depressing. Sigh ... (why does 'independace' sound almost derogatory at times?)

Oh well, maybe I will be fortunate, have a short and easy labour and bounce out the hospital! Smile.

Have a lovely Easter.

OP posts:

Original poster

Darlingdamsel · 24/04/2011 07:42

Looby ... I just don't know what to say. I am pretty sure that I did not say that I did not want any postbirth help at home? The tread was very much about the hospital part of this journey. Maybe you should not read so much into it?

Thansk though ...

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 24/04/2011 09:54

damsel, i think it's worth bearing in mind that people can only comment on what you post here... sometimes we do read into things, and sometimes we're wrong... that's just how the internet is.

when you read something like "how do i lug everything...while having contractions? i will have to get a cab.... i don't want to ask friends.."
then it's natural to say "hey, it's ok to ask your friends and probably quite sensible to do so!" precisely because we don't know WHY you don't want this to happen. you might just feel you're imposing on them and don't want to be rude for all we know (or rather for all we knew, based on the OP)

people very often have to give advice on here based on very little information, so of course we read our own subtexts into it otherwise the answers would be fairly non-existent I think.

and as for Looby, she WAS commenting on the hospital part, as well as mentioning post-birth help, and I for one think her reply is well worth taking into consideration!

if you want an "intensely private experience" then i'd strongly suggest looking into a homebirth which would solve every single one of your problems assuming you don't end up transferring in to hospital.

Original poster

Darlingdamsel · 24/04/2011 10:59

Hmmm ...

Usually on mumsnet I don't take offense because its just not worth it, but I do also try to help others when possible.

I made it very clear that I wanted to this on my own - which is why I stated it so clearly. If I want to ask my friends I will, this is purely about logistics.

And thanks 'yesterday' (although perhaps you should re-read loopy's pospt). Again if I wanted a home birth, I would have put a different message up ... considering I am high risk - that would never be an option. I can though strive to have a private experience at the hospital. Kind of the point of the orinigal message.

Thanks for those who provided insight into their own experiences and for the car service recommendation.

Lets all move on now. x

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 24/04/2011 20:47

yes, clearly we should all be mind-readers and not try and offer helpful solutions that you may not have considered.

silly us.

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