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Original poster

Teenager hates my partner - help

4 replies

jackie1234 · 15/04/2011 12:13

We have recently been through a bereavement - our mother (1yr ago) and my teenager (sister) hates my partner, and is rude to him to the point of embarrassment. She resents me spending time with him and I cant even have him in the house because I know it will lead to arguments. My teen wants me to choose between them and this is impossible and I dont think i should have to. My teen has a boyfriend too and sees him whenever she likes. She wants me to be on call for her and have no life of my own. HELP. I am worrying myself sick.

OP posts:
belleshell · 15/04/2011 12:38

Has she said why?????

adamschic · 15/04/2011 12:48

My teen doesn't have a boyfriend but when she did I welcomed him in the house because I want her to be happy. Unfortunatley she doesn't extend the same consideration to me and has made it difficult for me to have a close partner so I don't. I minimise the time a new man spends in my home and just date rather than have relationships.

How old is she and have you been together long and does she say why?

Original poster
jackie1234 · 15/04/2011 14:13

hi - thanks for the replies. I took over full time care of my sis when our mum died a year ago...I was seeing my bf then, but he lives away. I have had to put my sis first since then, but things have started to even out and I am trying to have a few weekends away etc. She just says that she 'hates the way he speaks to her' - difficult since she hasnt seen him for 10 months and he is the most polite person I know. He never stays at out house as I dont feel its right. She is 17 now and we have lived together for 2 years (but I have been completely involved in her upbrining). I can only think that she is scared I will leave her. I have tried to reassure her that she comes first, to no avail.

OP posts:
oldenoughtowearpurple · 15/04/2011 14:28

Well,

  • either she really hates him, in which case I would try to find out why as her perspective on him might be enlightening
  • or she is being unreasonable and selfish and needs to know that you have rights, deserve to be treated with respect and deserve a bit of happiness. You do NOT need her permission to spend time with your bf - who is the adult here? Just do it and ignore her tantrums.
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