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Ex-h rant, grrrrrr!!!

7 replies

FeelingOld · 12/04/2011 10:50

My dd is 16 and decided 2 years ago that she didnt want to see her dad anymore because of lots of issues with her step mum over a period of about 5 years and cos her dad wouldnt listen she cut off contact with him (i tried my hardest to sort it at the time but he wasnt interested, he just wanted to apportion blame to me but thats a whole other issue)

Anyway dd decided about a year ago she wants to be a beauty therapist (or whatever they are called nowadays) so we looked into apprenticeships and college. She went for an interview at a salon (live in a small town so not an abundance of them and this is the only one offering them) and they offered her an apprenticeship and we also applied at college and she has been offered a place there too. We later discovered this salon has a reputation for treating apprentices badly and out of the 4 they took on last year non finished the first year let alone the second, so we decided that dd would go to college.

Ex-h mum informed him of dd's decision and i got a ranting call last night stating that I have brainwashed dd into thinking that college would be better for her and not the apprenticeship just so that he has to keep paying me maintenence!!! I was just so bloody mad.... I told him that was a load of rubbish and he asked what other reason could there be for me talking dd into going to college instead? Errr i didnt and maybe the fact we think it will better for her than being treated like slave labour and learning nothing!!!

OP posts:
FeelingOld · 12/04/2011 10:51

Sorry no point to this thread really, just needed to get if off my chest!!

OP posts:
balia · 12/04/2011 14:55

Brew but only 'cos it is so early in the day...

He's a git. My ex tries the same thing, periodically, telling 16yo DD that she should be out enjoying herself, not studying, that she only needs the 'university of life' etc etc. It's pathetic.

just don't take the calls - life is too short.

Bearinthebigwoohouse · 12/04/2011 20:08

So in other words he was annoyed that he was still going to have to support his dd and took it out on you. Rise above it, you know the real reasons why she's chosen college. At times like this my mantra is "and this is why I left you".

FeelingOld · 12/04/2011 21:14

He left us when dd was just 3 years old (he was having an affair with my best friend) and admittedly although he has been a crap dad, he has never missed a payment. But he still pays the same amount that was set by the CSA all those years ago, i have never ever asked him for a penny more even when dd needed uniform etc for going to secondry school and such like.
How the hell does this make me a money grabber all of a sudden???

OP posts:
lookingfoxy · 12/04/2011 22:54

Ask for him to be reassessed by the CSA.
He should not begrudge his daughter getting an education ffs!

viewfromawindow · 13/04/2011 11:53

Your decisions sound really sensible and if you and DD are happy then he can just get stuffed!! I can't see how you are a money grabber if you have never asked for an increase in the money he contributes, my ex has to give me a copy of his annual P60 so I can check against the % he has to give me. This, and the %, were written into the divorce.... I was quite cross at his behaviour at the time but this still makes me giggle every year...bet his new wife loves it!
You KNOW you are doing the best for your DD... if he wants to think otherwise then it is HIS problem.

berrieberrie · 13/04/2011 18:56

Get the CSA to reassess him if you think he owes you more - more money for DD to concentrate on college rather than her having to work etc. % that were writenn in to divorces are void after 1 year so it could be if you go through CSA you'll get more.

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