Christmas access

[LunarRose]

Going to court in a months time over access with an absolute arse of an ex. regular access will be every other weekend. just wondered what other people do over christmas. am happy for him to have every other Christmas, but can't work out how this fits in with weekend access?

Any help/experience appreciated?

Split the holidays 50/50. Christmas hols are usually 2 weeks for children. A week each or split into 4 blocks. Then reverse for following year and so on.

Should have said kids will only be 4&6 next christmas. youngest has SN not at all happy with too many nights with decidely dodgy ex

Look at it not just as who will have the DCs on Christmas day itself, but as a block of days that will be shared by both parents. For example, I might want the DCs to be with me Christmas Eve from at least lunchtime and all day Christmas Day. My ex could then have Boxing Day and the day after. The next year, we would swap.

These Christmas arrangements would then overrule the existing weekend arrangements. That way, regardless of whose weekend it was to have the DCs, both parents would get to see the DCs for at least two days over Christmas.

Does that make sense?

I think a lot of people suspend the normal contact pattern over the Christmas holiday period and put some kind of split in place that alternates.

Fight for what is best for your DC - if they can't cope with an extended stay with their dad, fight for them. People have a varety of arrangements over Xmas - some do big blocks, others split the big day, some do Xmas day with 1, Boxing day with the other, or in my case, ex talks the talk just to annoy me and upset us all but doesn't actually want the kids around spoiling his Xmas fun..... You know your ex and your dc and the background to split/relationships within your family (or ex family) so go in asking for too much and then compromise on what you actually want. Hope you have good legal support. I had to agree to my ex having dc on alternate Xmas (evn tho CAFCASS didn't recommend it either) - they still haven't had to spend a Xmas with him.

IMO, every other christmas from lunch christmas eve til boxing day morning is better than a split of the day itself. Did this one year when with ex-H with his DS. Couldnt relax all morning and DSS's had already done one lot of presents when they got to us and were a bit tired for starting on another.

Hey

I do not have any experience of this but my SIL has a DS with her ex. They swap each year between new year and christmas so one year he will have him for christmas and the next year for new year which generally works for them. He goes usually the morning of christmas eve and comes back late boxing day then has his christmas presents with SIL and her husband when he is back. New years he goes on new years eve and comes back new years day.

I think splitting the day may be a bit overwhelming to have in effect 2 christmas days in one. It is entirely up to you though and I guess you have to work with what is best for you and the chldrn