AIBU to be confused about how I should be feeling in regards to how today WOULD have been our 15th wedding anniversary.

[Allalone0]

I have been separated from my exh for 21 months now, today WOULD have been our 15th wedding anniversary, not sure how I should be feeling.

This time last year I was on holiday with just me and the dcs, so didn't really feel it. Now i'm at home its hard to get away from thinking about it.

I separated cos he was abusive, which i dont regret doing.

I would imagine you would be feeling rather sad and wistful?
I am sure it is natural to be ambivalent about it because when you married you hoped and expected that you would be celebrating your 15th wedding anniversary happily together.
Although you don't regret the separation, which was necessary because of his behaviour, it is natural to regret that his behaviour made it necessary.

You will never forget this day, even though years may pass, so, rather than try to ignore it, perhaps you could make this a 'family anniversary' - a day every year to celebrate your life with your children, since they are the result of that wedding day?
You can make it a day to take stock and celebrate all that you and they have achieved in the previous year?