DD is 16, I split from her Dad when she was 7. At the time, his neice was living with us/me (ex worked away from home for extended periods). We've stayed very close, she was very supportive at the time and knows a lot about what went on. (She was 18 then).
Over the years, I have done everything I can to facilitate/encourage DD's relationship with her Dad. I still think it is incredibly important - my own dad has been my inspiration all my life - and there are many, many good things about her father that have been passed on to her.There have been ups and downs, of course, and she has become far more aware of his shortcomings in recent years. Although she still sees him, she no longer stays overnight.
This week she mentioned that her dad had said he would be coming to pick her up at the weekend and how surprised she was that he had said he would do all the travelling (usually he expects her to travel on the train - and pay for her own ticket). Today she said she was worried he was going to ask her for money. She then asked me to show her our bank statements from just before we split up. Apparently she had been talking about her worries with my neice who had suggested she ask me.
These are statements which show that when he was working abroad, he would pay in his earnings (£300 per week) but then take them straight out again - plus whatever he thought he could get away with from my wage, despite the fact that I was paying all the bills and he had free board and lodging. One particular time, for example, he left us with £1.54 in the bank to live on for over a week. I kept the statements to keep me strong (if that makes sense).
I was caught on the hop when she asked. It actually took me ages to find them - but I showed her. She hugged me and said she had no idea at the time how desperate things were and that she must have got her strength from me. She is wonderful.
This has brought up a lot of hurt and emotion that I thought was done with years ago - and I feel guilt about showing her. Did I do the right thing?