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Original poster

Is this enough...

9 replies

ItLookHardToStartNewLife · 01/04/2011 11:53

..me and H separated few weeks ago ( we are thinking of divorce now! cos he messed it up!)

Anyway at first he refused to see our children, but after couple of weeks he changed. Now he wants to see them every Wednesday only between 4pm-7pm in our house. He doesn't want to see them over the weekends, cos he work sometimes (till 2pm!, and Sundays free!) and also he need to have his new single man life! Hmm
I feel it's so unfair to me as I can't do noting on Wednesdays in couple of hours, only to shut my self in my bedroom! Sad
But am scared if I ask him to see children during the weekends ..picked them up at X time and bring them back X time, that he will refuse and make something up and not to see them at all.

Any advice??

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 01/04/2011 12:23

you dont have to ahve him visitng at your house - why doesnt he pick up from school then rbing them to you later
.

Original poster
ItLookHardToStartNewLife · 01/04/2011 12:35

cos he is ass and he cant bother to come on time to pick dd1 on time from school...Angry

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 01/04/2011 12:37

continue in this way and he will walk all over you all

stand firm

Original poster
ItLookHardToStartNewLife · 01/04/2011 12:40

I'm just really scared that he refused to see them. And also as we are not divorced yet and house is on both our names, therefore he said he can come in and stays when ever he wants...

OP posts:
jaffacake79 · 01/04/2011 12:43

Stand firm and suggest that he collect them from school, give them dinner and then bring them home in time for bed. He'll have to learn to be on time won't he!
Oh and I'd be suggesting every other weekend he have them from after he finishes work on the Saturday until some time on Sunday. You need a break too.

Original poster
ItLookHardToStartNewLife · 01/04/2011 13:02

Thanks Jaffacake I will speak to him...when I see him next time, hope he will be for it

OP posts:
jaffacake79 · 01/04/2011 13:14

Work out what level of contact is acceptable to you, and what you need, then give him options to choose from so he feels as if he has some control. Then you're both getting what you want and it appears as more of a compromise.
It is hard. But it will get easier.

I think technically he still has right to access the property as it's in joint names. I'd see a solicitor about all of that, as you don't really want to be sat in your room with him downstairs with the kids. That would be plain awkward.

cestlavielife · 01/04/2011 13:24

why you scared if he refuses to see them?

if that is his choice then that is his choice

you cannot force him to see them.

but - you can decide how and when is going to work fo you and the Dc and offer him choices on that basis.

and seeing them outside your home is better for him/them/you.

but -discuss this via email and/or with a mediator so you have a record.

later he might take you to court and declare you refused to allow him to see them...

Original poster
ItLookHardToStartNewLife · 01/04/2011 13:53

You are very right Cestlavielife

Why I'm Scared? Because I do not still be accused of everything, he blames me for everything. It's long story ... basically he wants to live the single man life, and I got to accept his behaviour .
I just do not want my children once accuse me of not having contact with their dad because of me.
H thinks that divorce is just some kind of a game, he still says that he will give me his address next time, but nothing. I simply need to be firm, otherwise he will keep doing what he wants!

OP posts:
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