advice for The Journey

[stonemason]

having left my ex for being controlling and abusive am having real trouble coping with access issues.daughter of 3 idolises her father and i and want him to hav as much access as he wants but he is so abusive to me,, we tried the texting thing and i hav tried be to easy goin but its wearing me down, there seems to b no way to apease his anger and his continual rude and abusive texting knows no bounds.any ideas how to cope with this!!.the bottom line is i WANT my daughter to see her dad, yesterday on handover he spat in my face and grabbed hold of my wrist in front of my daughter.where do i go from here

find someone else to do the hand over ?

keep a record of everything he does / says / texts.

If he continues to be abusive to you then I would inform the police and they may give him an harassment warning, a friend of mine did this and now although her ex continues to see his kids he is not allowed to say anything to her

He has to wait outside for the kids and cannot go near her door, she has a new lease of life ! good luck

GSter is spot on - I was advised on here to keep a diary - best thing ever. If he leaves bruises or marks photgraph them - Jemma is right - phone the police. Do you have a solicitor? Get them to write to him explaining that beacsue of the verbal and physical anger and attacks handover will only be done via a 3rd party/at a contact centre. Your dd should not be seeing this and you should not be subject to this. I had to get my solicitor to write to my ex explaining why he would only be allowed supervised contact in a contact centre (he was putting DC n danger constantly) - ex chose not to see dc . Sometimes a solicitors letter can work wonders - other times extwats just ignore them. Good luck but definately log it all.

personally I think it's abusive to the child to frighten them by spitting in their mothers' face, so I wouldn't want him to see my child if I were in your position. For her sake.