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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Any lone parents work 9 - 5?

24 replies

lookingfoxy · 31/03/2011 22:13

My current job involves 24 hr shifts once, maybe twice max a week, this means I get to spend loads of time with ds (6).

Im about to start a new job thats more daytime/evening working, but still lots of time off.

I am about to apply for a 9 to 5 job, but wonder if realistically whether this would be a good idea. I am worried about holidays etc, what do you do?
I have a fab childminder who i've used since ds was a year old, but it means I would be leaving him for a full 5 days a week.

Does this work for you, or should I just count my blessings that i've been lucky my hours give me more time with him?

9-5 job is obviously more money!

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readywithwellies · 01/04/2011 00:52

I was a LP, and I work 9-5. Worked OK for me but I had an excellent support network and dcs father also helped out with school pick ups.

In a few years, 9-5 is probably best, once ds is old enough to let himself in from school. Would rather that then leaving them to their own devices in evenings

allgonebellyup · 01/04/2011 10:29

Yes, i do, but i get school holidays off, and i actually work 8-4, so i get slightly longer evenings with dc. ( i have 2)

It is a struggle sometimes, as childminders keep letting me down all the time, then my work think i am being unreliable by having to take bits of time off here and there to pickup kids.
Cant survive any other way though, as i dont want to live off benefits.
Good luck!

allgonebellyup · 01/04/2011 10:30

Sorry, meant i work 8-4.30

MavisEnderby · 01/04/2011 10:32

I work 8-4 but am only pt.I have lovely childminder who takes dc2 before and after school.MIL/SIL take ds on the days I am working as ds/dd goto different schools.A good childminder is the key I think.

seedlessgrape · 01/04/2011 11:37

I work full time and commute from Surrey into Central London. I leave home at 8.20, drop my dd at the school gates then drive to the train station. She goes to the after school club within the school and her father/his girlfriend picks her up at about 5.15/5.30. I then pick her up from their house at about 7.15 on my way home from work.

It's hard, it's tiring and I get hardly any time to relax. Whilst I certainly wouldn't recommend it, it is necessary for me pay a mortgage, bills, etc.

I'm hoping that when she goes to senior school this September, it will get easier....

cestlavielife · 01/04/2011 11:51

i work 0930 to 4.30 eadch day (80 per cent hours)

my sisters whoa hve Hs are able to do 80 per cent but have one day offf per weeka dn that sounds much icer!

but it is not anoption for me - each day -
get up, oldest DS goes on bus to special school
take DDs tos chool, drie to work,
leave work 4.30
dds go to after school club pick them up by 5.30
ds goes home on bus is met at home by carer

mon to fri

but-yes necessary.

if the 9-5 is good job and pays well then yes go for it if you ahve good childminder

if more shift type work pays the same but gives "whole day(s)" off then that is a good option too if childminder can also cover the long days

cestlavielife · 01/04/2011 11:51

nicer even

Original poster

lookingfoxy · 01/04/2011 14:15

It would be split days, ie out in the morning but still able to drop ds at school, sometimes be there for school pick up, but if not then back in for dinner time and maybe out for a few hours in the evening. I think I'll persevere just now on the less money, I really enjoy hanging out with him.
Sigh, neven an easy decision though, I'll just stay poor for a few more years

OP posts:

Original poster

lookingfoxy · 01/04/2011 14:17

I've not explained that very well, it would basically be 5 or 6 hours a day over 5 days.

morning, afternoon or evening shift, all 2 1/2 to 3 hours each, even on a split shift during the holidays, I would get to spend most of the day from 12 to 6 with him and he'd prob still be up when I get home.

OP posts:

gillybean2 · 01/04/2011 17:51

You'll find you need to pay your CM for all the possible hours you need regardless of whether you use them. So if the shifts change daily and weekly you'll be paying out to hold the space open even if you don't use it.

I work 9-3 with no lunch break. It means I can drop ds at school at 8.30 and pick him up again at 3.30. He gets to school a bit early and has to wait 10 mins for me at the end.
I get all the holidays off too, apart from teh summer when I have to go in a couple of weeks in the middle.

Before that (while he was at primary) I used to work 10 to 2.30 4 days a week. Hours were flexible though and I would work my day off sometimes to get more time off in the hols instead.

Have no childcare options where I am. Did have a CM when I first started work but she stopped after a few months and rather than muck ds and work about I asked to go to school hours so I wouldn't have to worry about childcare any more.

QueenofWhatever · 01/04/2011 18:10

My DD is six and I work 9-5, Monday to Thursday. I actually find it fairly straightforward and don't think I could cope with shifts. Second the comments about having to pay CM regardless. I'm guessing you work in catering/hospitality.

The advantage around working traditional hours is that most childcare is set up for it, such as breakfast clubs, after school etc. Also most schools where I live have holiday clubs which are great.

Betty79 · 01/04/2011 19:17

I work 9-5/6 ish most days, I always take the dc's to school and they go to an after school club twice a week and my mum's the other 3 days. I've struggled with childcare at times, but most of the time it's ok. Sometimes we get home late 6.30/7 and we dont eat together during the week. But the kids are happy and so am I so it works for us. I couldnt work shifts as I wouldnt have anyone to have mine overnight.

HanBanan · 01/04/2011 19:29

gillybean what work do you do for those hours? I'm hoping to find something of that nature in sept, and so far have only looked at teaching assistant work which fits the hours-ish.

gillybean2 · 02/04/2011 08:16

HanBanan - I'm a tax accountant. My company have been very good with hours and have always been happy for me to swap around days etc as long as I get my work done.
Eg I've never technically taken time off for ds being sick, snow days etc as I've always made the hours up on my day off and have come in on the occassional weekend when necessary. Because they know this I have never had a problem taking time off for sports day, school trips etc. Actually I've not taken time off for sickness myself in the 6 years I've worked there (again always made up the hours)

We also have other staff members who work part days and not because they have young children either. One lady works 5 days a week but not tue or thur afternoons. And another guy (who used to be a single parent but his kids are now grown up) still only works tue-thur.

I think you basically have to ask and see if workplaces are accommodating. I was originally hired by someone who had been a single parent himself and on some level appreciated the situation I guess. I was completely honest at my interview, explained the child care situation and my situation, and I think that helped to reassure them that I would be reliable and had things covered.
Hence why when my CM fell through after only a few months I looked for an option where I wouldn't depend on other people and that would be sustainable long term.
Since agreeing more hours with them (now ds is at secondary) I've had to compromise on the flexible hours a bit. My current boss likes people to be in at a certain time and leave at a certain time. But I have negotiated hours that, as well as all the cshool holidays off, include some unpaid adhoc days in additional to my annual leave so I can take time off for dentist, half days at school, sickness etc without having to ask for 'family leave'. Plus I have agreed to come in 2 weeks of the 6wk summer holiday which I can either get paid overtime for or take off as time in lieu elsewhere if necessary.

So far it's working fine.

HanBanan · 02/04/2011 20:36

Wow gillybean there are some employers out there who actually understand then!! I thought I had to stick to schools and was feeling a bit restricted.

So to be honest during the interview and discuss it openly is the way forward. See what happens - don't ask, don't get.

stardust86 · 03/04/2011 00:40

I've worked full time throughout - no problem whatsoever with good childcare.

NOmeansNO · 03/04/2011 19:18

i work fulltime. just recently changed from 8-1sun-thurs shift to a new job that is 9-5 mon - fri.

better for childcare. great childminder. thats the key. mines never has sick days and take dc when they are sick. changes at drop of a hat for me and takes extra hours. she even does evening and wkds/overnight at a different rate. we also agreed that she will have the kids only for the term time guaranteed. we negotiate every holiday. i give her some days and others kids go to their dads or my mum has them. i give her the same amount of hours as when term time is on. but split it infto full days and the kids go other full days with non paying people.

cuteboots · 03/04/2011 20:10

I work fulltime and have never had any issues due to a fabulous childminder who never takes any time off sick and without her I couldnt have done it

evolucy7 · 03/04/2011 22:03

What do you do about any activities that the children would like to do after school?

NOmeansNO · 03/04/2011 22:04

childminder takes/collects from the ones which are school based. but swimming and other non-school arranged activities i pick the classes which are on during the weekend so myself or their dad can take them.

evolucy7 · 03/04/2011 22:10

My problem would be that I couldn't rely on their Dad to agree to take them at the weekend.

NOmeansNO · 04/04/2011 21:52

i try get them for just before due to their dads on friday evening/sat morning. or i go pick them up from their dads and take them to activity and back. but tbh... its enough of an activity going to their dads too.

ladydeedy · 06/04/2011 20:31

be aware that legally you are entitled to ask your employer for flexible hours if you have children. They are legally bound to consider this and to respond to you, once considered. Many companies are now favouring a flexible approach so dont be afraid of asking.

where I work we have people who work from home permanently, or part of time and rest in office, or flexible hours, or just term time. It doesnt hurt to ask.

Meriva · 07/04/2011 13:03

I work full time and my DS is just finishing first year at primary school. I was lucky that my office manager let me adjust my hours slightly so I can always drop DS at school. My sis-in-law used to collect from school but she has just told me she cant do it anymore, managed to get him a place at after school care but it closes at 5.15 so its going to be a nightmare getting him on time as I work out of town. Also now got to find money to pay for it as his dad doesn't contirbute a lot.

In this day and age employers need to be a bit more accomodating re families and child care. I've been lucky so far and work with a good bunch of guys who also have kids so we all cover for each other if one needs to get off early or whatever.

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