How do you manage when you are ill or under the weather

[MavisEnderby]

I am struggling right now and just need to vent.

It is nearly 10 months since dp died and I think I am at my lowest point, this week I have been.This is not helped by the fact my period has been absent for 5 months(stress i think) and for the last week or 2 I have been having a monster period.This has been accompanied by really bad stomach pains so bad in fact that after a sleepless night last night I called in sick and have been back to bed,just got up in last half hour and need to get children from cms.

I just feel like shit.I want to have a good cry.The thought of getting them home,doing the tea,washing up,bed and bath and doing ds reading/spellings is filling me with dread.DD kicks off at bathtime and fights me.Not her fault.She has sn so it is hard to explain stuff to her.I just want to curl up in a ball under the duvet.This isn't good is it.

I just got a polling card through the post one for dp.This set me off.I think it is mainly cos I am hormonal,not that i am depressed.

Aaargh.I am fed up.needed to let that out.Sorry.Thanks if you have read this far xx

have you friends or family who can help at all?
If you are really alone then it must be very very hard.

Can you leave spellings for a night, can you not bother with bath tonight, or get a takeaway?

You sound like you're coping marvellously. When I'm ill I give the dc a picnic sort of tea, which they think is very special but really is just bread, crisps and bits from the cupboard. Bath isn't essential, you can let that slide for a day.
I'm with you on the monster period though, mine was recently delayed because of a bereavement and when it did come, golly it was horrendous. And it was after a month of feeling poo too.
It;'s worth saying that people really are happy to help. I hate askign for help but I'm gettting over that slowly and people were only too happy to bring me some shopping and help with the dc. But they aren't mindreaders, you have to ask them.

I have BIL and sil who have ds 2 nights a week on nights before i work (I start work very early and drop dd off at cm,ds is at a different school to dd so he goes to IL's as dns attend the same school).I think it is a big ask really for them to do this tho they assure me they don't mind but i don't want to put on them any more,they do enough as both work have dns and own busy lives.PIL's are here but elderly and not in good health.Own dps lovely but live 2 hrs away.They are coming up at we.

I desperately need to do stuff with ds,I have only read with him once this week.He has spelling tests on a Friday.He is doing well at school thank god but i am not being the best mum atm,i should really read with him every night.

re baths,I suppose i could leave ds.DD with her SN is still doubly incontinent so i do like to bath her nightly otherwise she could get a bit stinky,lol!!She usually covers herself in food too,but i like to try and get her to feed herself to promote her independence.

I have chilli con carne on standby from freezer.Maybe i should just leave washing up till morning??Thanks for reply

Off to get dcs but thanks for reading will check back later x

I'm on my own but only with one six month old DD and I'm leaving the washing up until the morning. You definitely can. Get to bed early & try and sleep - the other posters are right - don't worry about the nonessentials you are doing so well x

This is gonna sound awful but I've been on my own since 7 months preggers so here are my strategies:-

1/ ALWAYS have a few homemade freezer meals that you can just "ping" if needed. I keep a week's supply at all times in one freezer drawer. (This is cos DS is on a special diet so even if I wanted he couldn't have chicken & chips lol!). These have been a real godsend when I've been struck down with flu in the past. For those not on special diets at least you'll know the kids are fed properly.

2/ The world will not end if you leave the housework for a week! While your feeling awful keep things sanitary but screw tidy for a few days. Fly lady helps me get it straight after the crisis.

3/ Always have one or two DVD's the kids haven't seen yet hidden away. DS isn't allowed much telly so for him a DVD can constitute a real treat for a couple of hours electronic baby sitting when I'm in dire need. DS (SEN) will get a nintendo ds for his birthday for dire moments.

4/ Online shopping is your friend for groceries etc when you are ill. Just occasionally it's worth doing an onine shop for veggies, milk etc when you feel horrific. Likewise keep some uht in the back of the cupboard for milk when you don't feel up to going to the shops and a loaf in the freezer.

5/ Tell the school you are poorly. So long as the child's attendance remains good, it's not the end of the world if you offer to do some homework with your child over easter instead of this evening. Just be sure not to make a habit of it iykwim.

6/ Accept offers of help! If a neighbour offers to do the school run - take it! This was the hardest for me to learn, until it dawned on me one day I have an elephant's memory and am more than happy to return the favour! In fact I kinda need to iykwim. Pride can make a rod for your own back sometimes.

7/ Prioritise! For bathing your special needs kid comes first, washing up can wait till morning and the world won't end.

It will get easier, at the moment you'll still have all sorts of ingrained habits to overcome as you adjust. You feel horrible and are still grieving, cut yourself some slack! You sound like a wonderful Mum.

Thanks all.well,i did manage to get it done with minimal fuss except being a little sharp with dd when she launched a few kicks at me and screamed blue murder while i was dressing her.She hates bathing and dressing. and got kids to bed at 8ish,went back to bed,got up a short while ago and feel a little better.

I will give you a big and not very MN hug. You sound awesome and you're doing well. The children will remember in years to come how much you loved them and what a great job you did, not the night you didn't do the homework and fed them a less than perfect tea